Birthday Bash

Teresa Wiltz says Agent Zero's birthday party got a boost from the unseasonable weather:

The naked painted ladies, part of the evening's entertainment -- and yes, naked naked, save for a thong and a head-to-toe paint job -- don't have to worry about goosebumps ruining the effect of all that . . . paint.

Frankly . . . I'm concerned. The extravaganza seems out of step with Arenas's chipped-shoulder ideology. Also, if he realizes that being young and rich could lead to tons of fun parties, where's he going to find the time to take his dogs on the treadmill. It's a worrying situation. The saving grace is that all these fans seem determined to vote Vince Carter into the All-Star Game, giving Gilbert the snub the Wiz need. If we get really, really lucky somehow the coaches will fail to select him, too. Kidd! Billups! Redd! Can't deny those guys.

Comments

It's a worrying situation.

Didn't get an invite either?

Seriously - if anyone deserved one, it's you.

Posted by SoCalJustice | January 7, 2007 4:34 PM

Agent Zero had better be voted to the all-star team. He's threatened to discontinue blogging if he misses out. And that would be a tragedy.

Posted by funkyb0ss | January 7, 2007 5:01 PM

so is this an indirect answer to my question?

Posted by shoals | January 7, 2007 7:05 PM

and yes, naked naked, save for a thong

Wouldn't "naked naked" mean without a thong?

And I commented on the Vince Carter travesty a few days ago. Needless to say, he's less deserving than Arenas, Billups, Kidd, AND Redd.

Posted by Al | January 7, 2007 10:25 PM

"Wouldn't "naked naked" mean without a thong?"

I was wondering about that one too...

Posted by Petey | January 7, 2007 10:31 PM

And I commented on the Vince Carter travesty a few days ago.

Well, yeah, the fans suck. Can't the Nets do something. Issue a press release: "Vince Carter Not Even Best Guard on the Nets You Retards." Something like that.

Posted by Matthew Yglesias | January 7, 2007 11:08 PM

"Well, yeah, the fans suck. Can't the Nets do something. Issue a press release: "Vince Carter Not Even Best Guard on the Nets You Retards." Something like that."

But, on the positive side, in seven years when Gilbert is too old to really be all that good anymore, he'll get voted in as a starter based on stale rep.

Posted by Petey | January 7, 2007 11:18 PM

Can't the Nets do something. Issue a press release: "Vince Carter Not Even Best Guard on the Nets You Retards."

I'd advocate that, except that, you know, Vince can opt out of his contact after the season...

Posted by Al | January 7, 2007 11:27 PM

"I'd advocate that, except that, you know, Vince can opt out of his contact after the season..."

Who's gonna offer Vince more than $16m for next season? I bet he plays out the contract.

Posted by Petey | January 7, 2007 11:40 PM

"Also, if he realizes that being young and rich could lead to tons of fun parties..."

I hate to break it to you, but the idea had probably occurred to him long before Gilbert-fest.

Posted by Petey | January 8, 2007 1:40 AM

Don't forget Joe Johnson, from the class of 01. But the answer is still Gilbert.

I can't believe that draft was so shitty that Eddy Curry gets a mention in the top 4, even in Petey's dreams. Of course, I'd still take Mehmet Okur over Curry, in addition to about 8 other guys in that draft.

Posted by too many steves | January 8, 2007 1:44 AM

"Don't forget Joe Johnson"

I think the four guys I named would all be clearly taken before Joe Johnson, nice player that he is.

"I can't believe that draft was so shitty that Eddy Curry gets a mention in the top 4"

Eddy hasn't done much before this year, but he's been a real force so far this season. If he stays healthy, and if he learns how to pass out of the double team, he'll eventually be the best of the '01 class. You can't coach height.

But like I said, given all risks and benefits, I still think I'd take Z-Bo first. Dude has a very reliable and simple game, and he's absolute money late in the fourth quarter. Portland is guilty of malpractice if they can't build a contender around him.

And I actually think the 2001 draft was pretty good. It beats the hell out the 2000 draft, and despite the presence of Yao and Amare, gives the 2002 draft a run for its money.

Posted by Petey | January 8, 2007 1:59 AM

Eddy Curry is like upside personified. He might end his career in the Upside Hall of Fame.

Posted by Steve | January 8, 2007 3:03 AM

"Eddy Curry is like upside personified. He might end his career in the Upside Hall of Fame."

I believe you're thinking of Darius Miles...

------

I think Curry turned the corner from upside to actual two seasons ago. He was starting to put up big numbers for the Bulls back then, but the heart thing happened, and then the Larry Brown thing happened.

He's actually been close to borderline all-star this year, tho his game still has some very significant weaknesses.

Posted by Petey | January 8, 2007 8:40 AM

i got the sense from the article that though obviously gil enjoyed himself, it appears he spent a lot of time by himself (sitting in his lamborghini, leaving early, etc.), so i don't think this type of experience would transform him into something other than the quirky, mild mannered yet fiercely self-confident and brash superstar that we all enjoy.

Posted by looj | January 8, 2007 9:41 AM

So when does the Gil backlash start? I don't mean around here, but nationally?

Seriously, there's infinite love and zero hate for Agent Sand Dollar through the known universe at the moment...

Posted by Petey | January 8, 2007 10:09 AM

So when does the Gil backlash start? I don't mean around here, but nationally?

A good question. There's obviously a divergent news-cycle thing going on, though. On the internet Gilbert is huge RIGHT NOW. Among the broader fan-base of, say, All-Star voters, he's clearly not there yet. Maybe next season Hibachi will be a mainstream hero but the 'net backlash will be under way?

Posted by Matthew Yglesias | January 8, 2007 10:19 AM

'01 draft's pretty good. You can't just condemn every pool that doesn't meet 96/03 levels.

Posted by Matthew Yglesias | January 8, 2007 10:24 AM

If one weren't hep to the layers of reference, irony, and general hepness required to appreciate Arenas lore ... oh, hell ...

Who cares?

Posted by Jeffrey Davis | January 8, 2007 10:28 AM

the all-star game is for the mainstream fan: if mainstream fans want vince carter, who cares? (of course, i haven't watched an all-star game in years....)

as for curry, yes, his game has come quite a ways, but i'm not going to take him seriously as an elite player until he becomes a real rebounder.

Posted by howard | January 8, 2007 11:04 AM

I'm hoping for an Arenas snub in the all-star game followed by an MVP award for the season. Coaches decide the reserves but the media decides the MVP - and we know how the media likes Arenas these days. That would be a badass story.

Posted by Dan Panorama | January 8, 2007 12:31 PM

"if he learns to pass out of the double team ..."

Eddy Curry actually seems to turn the ball over more often than he touches it. And as a defensive presence in the middle, he's about as good as I would be, and I'm 5-10. Curry has a nice post game, and sometimes he's an OK rebounder. He's a nice player, definitely an above-average center. That's about it.

And Matthew's right, that '01 draft isn't that bad.

Posted by too many steves | January 8, 2007 1:52 PM

"Eddy Curry actually seems to turn the ball over more often than he touches it. "

You think that's bad? Dwight Howard's even worse with turnovers and being unable to pass out of the double-team. Plus, he can't hit his free throws to boot.

But, of course, none of that makes Howard a bad player. It just makes him a very, very good player with some significant flaws in his game that need to be gradually corrected before he can be an elite player. Which doesn't make him that different than Curry...

(And, of course, the real question is trying to figure out where Sam Cassell fits into all of this...)

Posted by Petey | January 8, 2007 4:26 PM

First, Curry is even worse at the line than Howard (this year, Howard = 66%, Curry = 58%).

But more importantly, Howard has skills Curry will never have. He's an absolute monster on the glass and an imposing defensive presence. Curry just doesn't have the quickness or leaping ability to do those things. He also doesn't seem to have the fire.

Even with Curry's relative offensive skill, and Howard's relative cluelessness at this point, Curry is still only averaging about 2 points per game more.

Posted by too many steves | January 8, 2007 5:56 PM

I think this is from the Esquire piece, but how did this not get discussed?

For starters, on road trips, Gilbert goes into full hermit-mode in his hotel room...and it's not even to watch porn! "There's nothing out there for me. I don't know those cities....I'll watch three or four movies. I'll watch infomercials. The last thing I bought was this colon cleanser. I just got talked into it. I'm like, Man, he makes it sound so good."

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