« A Surge of Kagans | Main | Mankiw Agonistes » Independence Day04 Jul 2007 10:00 am
A July 4 question: Why do you hate America? I've given this a lot of thought, and I think the main reason I hate America is that I'm a fascist. What I can't quite decide is whether I'm a fascist because I'm a liberal, or if I'm a fascist because I sometimes shop at Whole Foods. Comments (38)
I'm not a fascist persay, but I do think things would be a lot easier if this were a dictatorship - and provided I were the dictator. 
I hate America because our nation's capitol is filled with people who think that Cleveland's signing of Larry Hughes was a victory for Washington, despite all evidence being to the contrary.
That's a serious question that has never before been posed so thoughtfully and with so much care.
I could never be a fascist. I don't do moustaches. Or yellow.
Matt, Matt, Matt If you don't realize that you're a fascist because you're a New York Liberal (ie Jew) you'll never be able to see it.
I hate America because, apparently, they can't be bothered to wish their closest neighbour & largest trading partner a Happy Birthday (July 1st, choads...). I didn't see any mention of Canada Day on any of the US blogs that I regularly read. Thanks fer nuthin'.
I hate America because then the terrorists win.
Oh. I also hate the troops.
I hate America because I hate freedom ... and Jesus. Man, I just can't stand the guy.
"I didn't see any mention of Canada Day on any of the US blogs that I regularly read. Thanks fer nuthin'." What's a Canada? *ducks*
Interesting dialectic there you Hegelian
Yep. Jefferson sux. Madison sux. That Adams was a tub of lard but his ideas about censorship were good.
I guess I'm a fascist because I refuse to worship either The God That Failed (communism) or the God That Never Failed to Turn a Profit (the Free-Market). Hmmm, I guess that makes me an atheist AND a fascist. I imagine, post hoc ergo propter hoc, that makes me hate America. Heil Kitlers!
Dammit, I know that this is a joke and all, but why don't prominent liberal spokepeople understand that they become less effective when they do this sh*t in writing. Even as I type, four dozen right-wingnut blogs are linking to this saying, "I told you so about Yglesias". Eventually, no one will recall it was a joke, but there be an institutional memory within the blogosphere that "Yglesias hates America". It's just like Moore with Sicko. Here he goes and makes a damn good movie that can, arguably, change the discourse in the country about health care. Then in a climactic moment in the movie, he takes the 9/11 folks to, of all places, *Cuba*. Once again, this will be the reason that the movie will be nowhere near as effective as it could be. Literally dozens of countries thought of as "third-world" by Americans could have been used to make the same point. But no, he had to go and choose one with an honest-to-god Marxist dictator. Sheesh. Yeah, yeah. I know I should lighten up.
You may also want to use your day off to get laid. You sound like that hasn't happened for you in a while.
BTW, I hate America since Americans have such poorly evolved senses-of-humor.
I hate America because it is too full of sarcastic smugness.
main reason I hate America is that I'm a fascist That's going a bit far. I'd call you a garden variety authoritarian. Really, anyone who wants the government to take over the entire health care system is.
I hate America because I think the War for Independence was a mistake. We would have got independence soon enough anyway, and not have had the historical baggage of the moral righteousness of war.
I hate America because we would be better able to speak and write the English language if only we had remained under the rule of the British Empire.
"What I can't quite decide is whether I'm a fascist because I'm a liberal, or if I'm a fascist because I sometimes shop at Whole Foods." That's not an "or".
I hate America because it owes me some money and it keeps telling me it will pay me back when it can, but I always see it buying fancy stuff and going out to expensive places.
Heck with all the this shit. Just do what God does. When things get too f-upped, blow the whole shit up and start over. Idiots can't follow ten simple rules---distilled down to one really: do unto others. I guess that makes me an anarchist---sort of.
I was rooting for Justin Henin (because she's got the sweetest backhand in the game) to beat Serena and Maria Sharapova (because she's Maria Sharapova) to beat Venus. I kind of feel a bit un-American. Now it's off to Whole Foods for some tasty (but very fascist) holiday treats.
What about those of us who shop at Trader Joe's? We get our trendy fascist foodstuffs at half the price. So there.
You're never described your motivations in such detail or with such care, Matt.
I hate America because. . . Oops. Writer's block. Anyway, I'm a fascist because I remember visiting Franco Spain in 1972 and finding it clean, safe, cheap, and pretty.
Even as I type, four dozen right-wingnut blogs are linking to this saying, "I told you so about Yglesias". Hey, if it keeps them indoors and out of trouble, where's the harm? I think MY is doing a public service here: do you want those mouthbreathers getting into the fireworks?
What I take from all this is there seems to be a "Canada Day"-- I know what "Canada" means and what "Day" means, just never seen them together like that. Apparently this happens sometime in July (or perhaps its Bastille Day that I'm thinking and there's no such thing as Canada Day). Which reminds me, I hate America for not clubbing and then devouring our friendly, defenseless, baby seal-like neighbor to the North long ago.
I think I probably do really "hate America'. It seemed to start with Ronald Reagan. I had been, basically a conservative Republican until then. Truly. Then, during the Contra war in Nicaragua, it suddenly struck me that we were killing people who had done nothing to harm us, because we didn't like their government. (Why that hadn't occurred to me during Vietnam, I cannot say.) After that, I saw everything differently. I found myself focusing on all the killing of harmless people that this country does, and has done. There's a lot of material to work with. I'm sure it's not the only perspective, but it seems to be mine. I'm the one.
Please, no more mocking the subtitle of Jonah's book, otherwise the publishers might change it again, and Jonah can escape having to read some Hegel (that stuff is denser than Jonah!)and then not have to explain it to the rest of us. That promised to be the comedy highlight of the year. Whichever year this book is completed. If it ever is.
Which reminds me, I hate America for not clubbing and then devouring our friendly, defenseless, baby seal-like neighbor to the North long ago. Hey, they tried - Madison thought he was going to be welcomed with flowers and maple syrup! Then he got, as they say in Glasgow, banjoed.
I hate America because it's pundits have figured out a movement that worships the flag, big business and god is exactly the same as one promoting revolution, atheism, and public ownership of the means of production. Hitler and Stalin worked so hard on their "we hate each other" act! And it was all for nothing...
I hate America because it's FULL of fascists.
I was rooting for Justin Henin (because she's got the sweetest backhand in the game) to beat Serena and Maria Sharapova (because she's Maria Sharapova) to beat Venus. Hmm. I do hate Andy Roddick. Maybe I hate America after all.
I hate America because all the people there are anti-American.
I'm a Skrull pretending to be Elektra.
Comments closed July 18, 2007. |
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Heads in the Sand
You're a fascist pretending to be a liberal pretending to be a fascist. I'm a liberal pretending to be a fascist pretending to be a liberal pretending to be a fascist.
Posted by MattF | July 4, 2007 10:10 AM