McCain Cuts and Runs

John McCain on the need to leave Haiti now:

In my view, we need to fight the voodoofascists in Port au Prince or we'll be fighting them in Portland.

Comments

So we can get a better idea of the scale of the threat facing us, which Portland do you mean?

Posted by Warren Terra | July 10, 2007 3:12 PM

Which Portland? This is an important consideration.

Posted by T:Porter | July 10, 2007 3:13 PM

Realistically, only Portland, ME. If the creole-speaking Haitians manage to join forces with the Francophone Carribbean islanders (Martinique, Guadaloupe, St Martin, etc.) they might be able to get to Oregon.

Posted by Matthew Yglesias | July 10, 2007 3:16 PM

A valid response from the proprietor ... but ... he has apparently forgotten that Carter signed away the Panama canal! And the Chinese are trying to buy it! Oregonians, you are not safe!

Posted by Warren Terra | July 10, 2007 3:34 PM

Will they be sailing up the Columbia to the Willamette River in the Oregon Portland? Should we raise the levies and block the river with recreational water craft?

Or, will they take the traditional route overland via the Oregon Trail?

Posted by JimPortlandOR | July 10, 2007 3:43 PM

Now I have to start a band so I can call it "Voodoofascists in Port au Prince."

Posted by MP | July 10, 2007 4:44 PM

Now I have to start a band so I can call it "Voodoofascists in Port au Prince."

Posted by MP | July 10, 2007 4:44 PM

Or, will they take the traditional route overland via the Oregon Trail?

Are Haitians susceptible to dysentery?

Posted by JP | July 10, 2007 4:57 PM

Or, will they take the traditional route overland via the Oregon Trail?

I think the Trail is the obvious route. The question is whether or not they'll run the rapids at the end.

Posted by Matthew Yglesias | July 10, 2007 5:03 PM

The important thing is that the Haitians were able to throw off the yoke of French imperialism. And once they got possession of Haiti, which had supplied a third of the French empire's GDP, they built a prosperous nation of their own... oh, wait that didn't happen.

Posted by Fred | July 10, 2007 5:14 PM

You always run the rapids. You're actually more likely to meet some misfortune on the Barlow Toll Road than you are to hit one of those rocks.

Posted by Neil the Ethical Werewolf | July 10, 2007 5:23 PM

The voodoofascists have an unlimited source of manpower! And their legions will march for only a promise of braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiins...

read about the coming apocalypse here: http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Z-History-Zombie/dp/0307346609/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-1604479-7024729?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184104807&sr=8-1

Posted by David | July 10, 2007 5:48 PM

"we need to fight the voodoofascists in Port au Prince or we'll be fighting them in Portland."

Dammit, don't you realize they have VOODOO DOLLS? They can strike anywhere across the globe! We need to just nuke them before they develop a Voodoo Map and stark poking pins into Washington!

Posted by Patrick | July 10, 2007 7:56 PM

Would Portland, OR even mind an invasion of voodoofascists? They'd probably contribute to the local music scene, and we could give them a chunk of inner Northeast around the convention center. I really think everyone would regard it as an improvement.

Posted by Josh | July 11, 2007 1:09 AM

I'm having a little bit of difficulty getting over Squeaky McSqueaky's voice.

Posted by Sean | July 11, 2007 11:35 AM

Are you insinuating that we need to stay in Iraq longer to finish the job like we did in Haiti or that McCain is a two faced hypocritical ass?

Posted by rufus | July 11, 2007 2:48 PM