Nuclear Athletes

Chad Ford reaches exciting new heights of hyperbole in his writeup of 2008 draft project Alexis Ajinca who's said to be a "Super long, wiry forward with nuclear athleticism." Yes, nuclear.

Freakish is out.

And the wingspan?

"Amazing 7-foot-8 wingspan" so no worries.

We still need wingspan. Nevertheless, he's only the 87th best prospect overall but might be good a good prospect "maybe two or three years down the road."

Photo by Flickr user Dyxie used under a Creative Commons license

Comments

Pretty sure the nuclear thing is a nod to Simmons cracking on the expanding hyperbole of scouting reports:

One word we haven't quite figured out: How to say that someone is more athletic than the typically athletic prospect...we could come up with a new word altogether; I always liked the word "nuclear." Would you be more enticed by a guy with "elite athleticism" or "nuclear athleticism"?

I also think we should combine "athletic" and "agile" (the two most common draft-day words) into one word: "agiletic." And Chad used the word "jaw-dropping" twice in the same paragraph about Sene Seer's upside this week; I submit that we should reconfigure that word into a cooler, sleeker noun to maximize its effects and give "upside" a break from time to time: "dropjaw."

Watch how nice this sentence reads: "With a freakish wingspan and nuclear motor, the uber-agiletic Ty Thomas has dropjaw with no real ceiling."

Posted by Quarterican | July 11, 2007 9:30 AM

"Watch how nice this sentence reads: "With a freakish wingspan and nuclear motor, the uber-agiletic Ty Thomas has dropjaw with no real ceiling."

It could still use work:

With a psychotic wingspan and nuclear reactor where mere mortals have a heart, the uber-agiletic Ty Thomas has a drop ceiling.

Posted by Petey | July 11, 2007 9:41 AM

It's almost as absurd as a positive Dana Stevens review. (Children of Men is the movie of the millennium, Ratatouille moved me to tears).

Ever notice how snarks like her are absurdly negative about the 80% of movies they don't like, and absurdly positive about the 20% they do like?

Posted by Freddie | July 11, 2007 12:10 PM

Sociopathic wings explode like the Bikini Atoll,
Ty Thomas
Das Ubermensch balletic
The jaw unhinges like a python swallowing a goat

in a convertible.

Posted by Antid Oto | July 11, 2007 1:14 PM