I got my first-ever fifth reunion-related email from folks on my class committee. "It has been almost five years since our graduation from fair Harvard," it says "No doubt we have all been keeping busy determining and pursuing our life's work." My main pursuit has been a remorseless quest to become the most famous member of the class of 2003, a mission in which I've been stymied at every turn by Miss Natalie Portman. Now, it seemed to me that she'd kind of fallen off the peak of her fame, but IMDB lists three feature credits for 2007 forthcoming, so I guess I'm doomed.
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Portman in My Sights
20 Aug 2007 02:26 pm
Comments (53)
the most famous member of the class of 2003
How is this to be determined? Number of Google hits, or what?
Dude, you went to Harvard? Who knew?
Am I the only one who finds Portman to be a snooze acting-wise?
Did anyone else see V for Vendetta? Yeesh.
One big difference is that Natalie Portman is famous in the "real" world.
My main pursuit has been a remorseless quest to become the most famous member of the class of 2003, a mission in which I've been stymied at every turn by Miss Natalie Portman.
I see two possibilities for the reason she continuously outpaces you.
A) She's hot.
B) She embraces the "Zionist conspiracy" while you attack it at every turn, and the "Lobby" has done nothing but put up roadblocks in your way at every turn of your climb to the top.
Perhaps a combination of the two.
You're deranged. "Star Wars" will be a famous movie for a hundred years. She was in that.
jenny
Ever meet her?
Two points on Ms. Portman:
First, hubba hubba. Second, uh, I forget...
I actually liked her in V for Vendetta. I can't think of many other actress who could be that skinny and bald and still hold my interest and be somewhat alluring.
You only need about 400,000 Google hits to catch up, which is not that daunting. She does, however, have nearly three times as many technorati hits. Now who's more famous on the internets?
Saw her once on campus... she was in some Dance & Drill type organization-- almost more disturbing than any Zionist tendencies she may have... She was strikingly pretty, even in a dowdy sweatsuit and knee-high to a moderately-sized grasshopper.
She is 10x hotter than Keira Knightley, who looks like the animated skeleton of Portman + collagen.
She was strikingly pretty, even in a dowdy sweatsuit and knee-high to a moderately-sized grasshopper.
My sister's conclusion was that she was even more beautiful in person than on film (which I can't imagine).
Matt: Maybe your best shot is a long-term project to beat Natalie Portman's Erdos-Bacon number. You need to both appear in a film and write a mathematics paper...
I was in the same college class at Jodie Foster ("the freshman hot enough to shoot a President for") , and by the fifth anniversary we all figured her career was over adn she'd go to law school or something. Now she acts AND directs, and remains the most famous in our Class, and I leave anonymous comments on mid volume blogs. I am your future.
Jodie Foster was hot as a girl, and I'll admit she's still somewhat attractive, in a sharp, stern, butch-lesbian aunt kind of way.
This thread is useless without pictures.
Long Island skank whose voice sounds like a ratchet wrench set clattering down a flight of stairs, no matter what role she's in. Anorexic and breastless to boot! (Oh, and her parents allowed her to appear in what was practically child porn. Go, Long Island values!)
-O
But how do you really feel about her, ossicle?
I always like to make little bets on how fast a Harvard graduate will mention that he or she went to Harvard. Bonus money if they say they "went to school in Boston."
> "Star Wars" will be a famous movie for a
> hundred years. She was in that.
_Star Wars_ will indeed be a famous movie in 100 years.
Natalie Portman, however, did not appear in the cast.
Now, if you mean the three prequels to _Star Wars_, in which Ms. Portman did appear, well, let's just say I hope her check cleared.
Cranky
This thread is useless without pictures.
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/natalie-portman-nude.jpg
Former Harvard student here. Natalie Portman was friends with my roommate in Lowell House. She seemed like a very nice girl in person, and she certainly is moderately cute, but I would not have guessed her to be a member of the Maxim 100 list or whatever. Makeup and lighting can accomplish a lot!
I got kicked out of Harvard. Twice. It's the only interesting thing about me. Ask me why!
"I always like to make little bets on how fast a Harvard graduate will mention that he or she went to Harvard. Bonus money if they say they "went to school in Boston."
Reminds of the time I went to a Cheap Eats dinner in Manhattan, and the Chinese-American Harvard alum across from me squeezed Harvard into his first sentence. Turns out the Greek man sitting to my right had done a post-doc in chemistry at Harvard, and he explained the "went to school in Boston" alternative.
Anywho, everyone (including Matt) is ignoring something obvious here: Natalie Portman was famous before she went to Harvard, since she had already been a successful actress for years. In fact, that's probably the main reason why she was accepted to Harvard. MY, on the other hand, was another precocious, non-famous, rich Jewish kid, albeit with a semi-famous father and semi-famous grandparents. So, chances are, Matt is smarter than Natalie, though Natalie is prettier.
That said, Portman isn't all that. She wouldn't even rank in the top five on my list of best-looking Jewish actresses.
Ever meet her?
Yeah, we were in the The History of Modern Tokyo together, I think.
Matt's prettier than Natalie, and if they started dating, it would be Mattalie. Maybe he could bring her around on Israel/ Palestine to boot, as only an erudite ethnic Juban Hero can do!
Gregorio,
If you were in college in the 40's or 50's, you'd be on the other side of the Israel/Palestine issue. Which makes me think that your desire to be liked is even stronger than your desire for attention.
HOW THE FUCK do you know that, Ken Leung? If it were the 20's, I'd be in favor of Madagascar? Shut the fuck up you retarded idiot with a brain full of AIDS and sorrow and orphans and deformed dolphins with prolapsed colons.
Ask me why!
Why, Gregorio?
"HOW THE FUCK do you know that, Ken Leung?"
The assumption follows from your inability to cogently argue anything in these comment threads. Usually those who have come to a political view on their own are able to articulate the merits of it better than you do; your advocacy smacks of crowd surfing.
Don't be so angry though. Affirmative action is a beautiful thing. Be grateful for it. If college admissions were based purely on merit, you'd be at some second tier state school now.
Am I the only one who first thought MY might have been referring to Rob Portman after seeing this post's title? That would have been a far-wonkier post.
Based on my handle alone, you assumed I got into Harvard through affirmative action? Well, uh, this is not my real name, but even if it were, you are a fucking racist fucktard. Get a life, Leung. And since your reading comprehension seems to be a little sub-par, I got KICKED OUT of Harvard. I DO go to a "2nd tier" state school, UC Berkeley, where I am-- finally!-- finishing up my BA this year, but only after spending a couple years at 5th-tier state school San Francisco State University, surrounded by Mexicans, Blacks, and lower-caste Asians not intelligent enough to even benefit from that odious reverse-racist scourge known as Affirmative Action that gives you permission to look down your nose at any successful minority you come across because you know HE'S NOT WORTHY and totally stole your spot at University of Michigan Law School. You twat!
PS: I oppose the occupation of Palestine because I oppose Racism and Oppression in all forms, and Zionism is a blatantly racist and oppressive disease that infects the geography of the Middle East and the souls of most American politicians. Free Palestine, end the occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip, remove the settlers, recognize the Right of Return, and get ready to fork over those reparations. Then we'll fucking talk peace, Leung, you fucking turkey.
Let me complain once again about the gratuitous non-nudity in her stripper movie ("Closer").
It ruins all the justifications of nudity as "necessary for the story" if you have a non-nude stripper movie.
@Freddie: Uh, because I can't control my temper.
I did, however, enjoy the fuchsia wig.
so, any of the Harvard grads here ever met Jennifer Connelly while she was there?
She's even juicier- a reverse Knightley, if you will, having dramatically improved from Labyrinth on. If I have a type, that's it.
Marry me Jen! Fucking Bettany's a lucky pale fuck. Good thing he's a bonzo actor, or I'd be sore at him.
Matt, History of Modern Tokyo? I really hope that's a joke.
If it's any consolation, I like you more Matt.
Matt, History of Modern Tokyo? I really hope that's a joke.
Not to those of us who majored in Hitler Studies.
Matt, History of Modern Tokyo? I really hope that's a joke.
I think that was the name of the class. Might have just been "Tokyo" or "History of Tokyo." The class was about Tokyo.
Matt's prettier than Natalie, and if they started dating, it would be Mattalie.
Matt looks a lot like the more hipsterish of the two New Zealand dudes in that new HBO series. Or at least he does to someone who's only seen the occasional photo or one or two blog TV debate appearances of Matt.
As the resident expert here in female beauty - how could I not be when clowns think Keira Knightly is less attractive than Natalie Portman - I have to object.
First of all, Natalie is definitely cute - and if properly done up, can possibly be considered lovely or even beautiful. Bodywise, she is nothing special. She is not well endowed in the chest or legs. She is well endowed in brains, apparently, except for her unfortunate education by the egregious and disgusting Alan Dershowitz.
Second, Keira Knightley has the superior face BY FAR. Unfortunately, while she has an excellent belly and legs, she has no chest. She however doesn't indicate any particularly greater than average intelligence. So one could argue that Keira and Natalie are roughly in the same categoy - except for the face problem.
As for Jodie Foster, while she was never the best looking woman in Hollywood, she definitely is one of the more intelligent. Unfortunately, massive family problems appear to have messed her up somewhat emotionally, although she seems to control it well and keeps it from causing her to do things publicly that are odd. Privately may be another matter. There is the still the question of who exactly fathered her two children.
Jodie is hot by virtue of her intellectual, emotional and physical intensity. She waited until she was in her early '40's to do a hot sex scene (in "A Very Long Engagement"). Also, while most over-40 actresses are playing somebody's mother, Jodie is playing somebody's very FEISTY mother.
As for Matt competing with any of them for fame, good luck with that project, homes.
Email me when you succeed.
So does this mean you're doomed to be the second most famous member of the class of '03?
Or is there anyone else you have to leapfrog to achieve that goal?
This conversation really needs to be imported to a Bar.... a bunch of guys measuring female hotness over the internet.... its just not the same.
I think Keira Knightley is hotter; nothing against Natalie Portman, but she really is just a cute girl. I heard she is bi-sexual, which is props I guess.
I would pick Portman as the superior actress, just because I think she did an excellent job in the small role she played in Cold Mountain. Also, I really hated Domino with a passion, even though that should not redound on Knightley, whose performance was a good you can get from a terrible script and piss-poor directing.
You think Natalie Portman is tough to beat --> John Elway was in my college class !
After Natalie Portman, the next most famous member of Harvard’s class of ’03 is probably B.J. Averell, who won “The Amazing Race”. Next is Jen Botterill, the Olympic hockey player. Next I would nominate Lena Demashkieh, who received national attention for cracking the Hasty Pudding scandal. (You can look these people up on google ... I'm too lazy to make the links) There are probably other successful and widely known students who I can't remember right now.
Matthew Yglesias has achieved a great deal of success in journalism, and all credit goes to him, but I’m not sure that I would call him “famous” in the same way as the students above.
1) John Elway is a Horse-faced Egomaniac
2) Dicky Hack's posts make me physically ill
3) Keira Knightley is an anorexic plastic surgery victim
Natalie Portman walked past me one day in the Village -- it took me a minute to realize who it was. My inital thought was that's a really cute, impossibly small woman. Seriously, she must be like 4'11" and 95 pounds.
I went to school with Jack Abramoff. Pretty tough to top that. He did not wear a fedora in those days.
Natalie Portman is young and smart but that doesn't make her sexy.
This makes her sexy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nG129bAsMU
Comments closed September 03, 2007.
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Heads in the Sand
Did somebody say Natalie Portman?
Posted by Freddie | August 20, 2007 2:48 PM