We have a longstanding debate in my house on the subject of bears. Specifically, which bear is the cutest. I stand by the panda bear. Kriston Capps is a supporter of the koala bear, which isn't even a bear. Spackerman, however, is a polar bear loyalist and makes a strong case that this video supports his view. For some reason, he's not posting it to TPM Muckraker (surely there's an Alaska scandal here somewhere) but my voracious appetite for content will lead me to post just about anything.
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Cute Bears
12 Oct 2007 03:26 pm
Comments (35)
It's not at all a bear, but the red panda (which should at the very least enjoy honorary bear status, based on its name) is pretty darn cute.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Panda
Well, since the Giant Panda has been reclassified as a bear and not, as was previously taught, a relative of the raccoon, it must receive some consideration for the coveted prize.
I'm not sure I would call the polar bear "cute," but I share my fellow Rutgers alum's admiration for Ursus maritimus. 500-600 kilograms of something that can swim and kill you with utter ease is worth celebrating.
Mudge and I thought the same thing at the same time, which only goes to show the odd power Matt Y has over the minds of his readers.
Meanwhile I must point out that one of your co-bloggers at the Atlantic considers himself a bear, though his politics are far from adorable.
Eight Below 2!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397313/plotsummary
TPMM is Alaskan Scandal Central.
This video might win it for Spencer.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/03/20/so-cute-you-might-kill-yourself/
The Black Bear, easily.
I'll agree with Ryan on red pandas. And if you want diabetes, you'll need to check out this site regularly:
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/the-elusive-bam.html
The cutest bear is Butterstick
I'll make a case for the oft-forgotten, totally adorable sun bear. For one thing, it's an honest-to-goodness bear. Second, it's from Malaysia. Third, it's smaller and less deadly than a polar bear. Fourth, c'mon.
Paddington bear has a suitcase and galoshes. beat that.
http://www.bearsbymail.com/img/med/paddington.jpg
My vote for cutest beer is Red Stripe. The squat rounded bottle is just adorable!
Ever since I was a tyke I've been partial to Winnie the Pooh. He's a chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff. Adorable!
I'm a fan of the spectacle bear, but mostly because there's one at the Lincoln Park Zoo here in Chicago who, because of jaw surgery, always has his tongue sticking out. So I feel like he needs extra amounts of visitor love, making him my favorite. Sappy but true.
I don't know, I thought Gale Sayers had a really nice ass.
I don't know why (it might actually be for a quite interesting reason?) but it seems to me that polar bears are most notable for often striking anthropomorphic poses that amuse most humans, including me. That's quite different from what I would call a "cuteness" factor, though. Anyone who would apply "very cute" to them seems to me would seem to have a very strange interpretation of "cute."
> Anyone who would apply "very cute" to [polar
> bears] seems to me would seem to have a very
> strange interpretation of "cute."
No kidding. Stuffed toy polar bears are often made anthropomorphically cute but real ones, even in zoo environments, are brutal killing machines that would rip out your gizzard for a before-lunch snack and then bat your still-living head around for fun. Not my idea of cute.
Cranky
I think Huggy Bear has them all beat. And I mean the original, not some Snoop Dogg remake shit.
Are you kidding me! Panda bears (like koalas) are expressionless freaks that sit around, eat bamboo, and fart all day (though for koalas, it's eucalyptus, but the sitting and farting still applies). The sitting and farting is due to the poor diet (grass and leaves doesn't get you very far).
Give me an adorable polar bear and cubs, any day. The anthropomorphic poses are precisely what make them look cute (same reason puppies are cute when they tilt their heads to the side, or chimpanzees look up at you with big brown eyes). Sure they'll rip you to shreds, but you'll go "aaahhhh" right before they tear out your throat.
Anyone one favors the dead gaze of a panda is well on their way to becoming a sociopath....
And, yes, I'm being facetious...except for the sociopath part...
im sure there is a gay joke here somewhere.
What kind of bear is best? It is not a ridiculous question. Fact! Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
(If you don't get it, I can't help. But you still might find this Bear PSA funny.)
"Tell that to the polar bear..."
That's a polar bear? Looks a bit fat and short for a polar bear. A "white" black bear, perhaps? Actually looks more like an Ewok.
Polar bears are damn cute, and Knut is/was the cutest creature on the planet.
But overall I'd have to go with brown bears.
I second the vote for the sun bear. What's important is that the sun bear's cuteness can't be captured in a still frame. You really have to watch them in motion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFiSJxrF7gg
Brilliant.
You are all wrong. The dirty, rough trade bears are the absolute best. Mmmm flannel and grease.
Oh come on people-- cute bear, thy name is koala.
This is what they look like when you take off their mask.
http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/19836.jpg
Only bears I care about are the teddy bears Andrea Corr gets thrown on stage at every concert.
Got a picture of the 2004 Ischgl concert with three of them stacked up on the drum riser.
She got hit in the head with one at Montreal in 2004. Stood there and said, "Okay, who hit me in the head, thanks, anyway!"
Koala bears aren't bears (and are foul tempered and make horrible sounds)
Pandas are funny only when giving birth and being startled by their honking young.
Sun bears are pretty cute, but the winner is
POLAR BEAR
It doesn't get any cuter than this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob_oD1IsYbE
Man, oh, man, Farris, you got me hook-line-and-sinker. I'll stick with Knut, thank you very much...
"Oh come on people-- cute bear, thy name is koala...This is what they look like when you take off their mask.
I know I'm sounding mean, but I find that photo somewhat disturbing...
Cranky is right, but missed one thing: polar bears smell really bad. And koalas are kinda stupid, so really, the Panda wins by default.
max
['The truth is that young nubile human females are cuter than any other animal.']
Comments closed October 26, 2007.
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Heads in the Sand
The panda bear used to be categorized more as a raccoon, not a bear, but it appears that DNA may have moved it closer to a bear now. Both it and the polar bear are currently Ursidae family members.
Modern science saved you on this.
Posted by Mudge | October 12, 2007 3:39 PM