Bullets Dodged

Whatever else happens in 2008, one thing that's certain is that Rudy Giuliani won't be elected president. That's something I'm thankful for. And, based on the results, I think it's something that virtually everyone in America can be thankful for -- something that can unite Americans across the cultural divide. From Red America to Blue America, everywhere but the Commentary office and the foreign policy wing of the American Enterprise Institute, we stand proud tonight as a nation that refuses to be governed by Rudy.

Mike Huckabee's speech, meanwhile, is strangely charming. Insofar as Huckabee seems to have no chance of winning, he's a pretty likable guy. When one contemplates the prospect of him actually becoming president, it's pretty horrifying. But as a folksy loser thanking his supporters -- likable.

Comments

On the other hand, Huckabee looks like a fucking asshole when he talks about shoving Confederate flagpoles up peoples' asses or swapping out the Constitution for the Bible.

Posted by blah | January 29, 2008 9:05 PM

Yeah, but start thinking about Huck as McCain's VP nominee. He suddenly becomes horrifying again.

Posted by Chris O. | January 29, 2008 9:09 PM

Well, now we *only* have to worry about McCain appointing Rudy! to the AG's post, where he can focuse on *only* destroying the Constitution, civil liberties, the American government itself.....Still, better than Rudy! doing all of those things while also starting a war with Iran/China/Uruguay/Iceland/Nova Scotia/The Moon/Whatever

Posted by Mike | January 29, 2008 9:12 PM

That's the same kind of charm George W. Bush showed. He would have been a good folksy loser, too.

Posted by Gus | January 29, 2008 9:13 PM

Chris O is exactly right. McCain needs help with evangelicals, and he's old and busted up enough that his VP would have a better-than-usual shot at inheriting the top job.

Posted by Not Prince Hamlet | January 29, 2008 9:18 PM

Given the number of times Ron Paul beat Giuliani, that was one.....slow.....bullet...

Posted by Jen | January 29, 2008 9:19 PM

Thanks for mentioning an AG Rudy Mike! There goes any chance I had to sleep tonight...

Posted by ed | January 29, 2008 9:23 PM

I found Huckabee's speech to be oddly soothing.

I can't picture the Republican base supporting McCain in the fall election.

Posted by thehova | January 29, 2008 9:31 PM

Are you sure he's not like the monster in some ghoulie flick? You think they've got him and he pops up again: gnarly, salivating.

(You should be paranoid about Diebold Linus not this Giuliani fellow.)

Okay.

Posted by Linus | January 29, 2008 9:33 PM

Next Nightmare: Attorney General Rudy Giuliani

Posted by Callimaco | January 29, 2008 9:38 PM

Seriously though: I agree wholeheartedly with Matt Y.

President Giuliani was always the worst possible outcome of this election (even if he seemed to me like the perfect kind of asshole for these people).

Posted by Linus | January 29, 2008 9:54 PM

"Given the number of times Ron Paul beat Giuliani, that was one.....slow.....bullet."

True, it's got to really smart, going from the presumptive front runner, to repeatedly coming in behind a candidate the media are barely willing to admit is running.

Posted by Brett Bellmore | January 29, 2008 10:09 PM

I'm disappointed that Giuliani didn't begin his remarks at 9:11 tonight. He's falling behind in every respect.

Posted by Luke | January 29, 2008 10:12 PM

It almost makes me think better of Republicans that they rejected 9iu11ani so quickly, but then I remember that the malignant scum are responsible for foisting Dumbya on us and I go back to thinking they should all get ulcerated hemmorhoids.

Judy Nathan-9iu11ani's search for a gigolo with a healthy prostate has just begun. And Rudy can dream of the VP slot or AG, but the Republicans are heading for a bad fall.

Posted by MoeLarryAndJesus | January 29, 2008 10:27 PM

Thankful is the right word. When Giuliani started, I was sure that he wouldn't fly - that he was a classic big city mayor personality, too flaky to be taken seriously nationally. When he persistently polled well nationally, I started to get worried...tonight is a night to exhale. One terrorist attack with Giuliani in the saddle, and goodbye American democracy.

Posted by Asp | January 29, 2008 11:00 PM

1) It's interesting to envision McCain dying while President with Huckabee being VP and Giuliani being Attorney General.

2) Suppose President Huckabee then idly mused about shoving a Confederate flag pole up some critic's ass within AG Giuliani's hearing?

From the NY Times, August 1997:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990DE4D8173FF937A2575BC0A961958260&scp=8&sq=%22Abner+Louima%22&st=nyt

"At what point will Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and Police Commissioner Howard Safir decide that things have gone too far, that it is time to put a stop to the barbaric behavior of so many New York City police officers?

The latest outrage occurred early Saturday morning in the 70th Precinct station house in Brooklyn. At least two uniformed officers are said to have tortured and humiliated a man named Abner Louima by yanking down his trousers and driving the wooden handle of a toilet plunger so far into his rectum it punctured his small intestine and damaged his bladder. The filthy handle was then driven into Mr. Louima's mouth with enough force to break his teeth. "

Posted by Don Williams | January 29, 2008 11:37 PM

...a nation that refuses to be governed by Rudy.

Once again, Florida gets to decide for the rest of us.

You think this makes up for last time???

Posted by Grumpy | January 30, 2008 12:39 AM

I'll bet the Israelis are unhappy tonight - Rudy was number one on the Haaretz preferences list.

Clinton is number two, so they're not that unhappy.

And of course McCain is number three, so they'll still get their war in Iran one way or the other.

But Rudy would have been a slam-dunk guarantee of an Iran war - and maybe a war on Syria, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Yemen, Pakistan, Chechnya...you name it, if it had a Muslim living in it, he would have attacked it. He probably would have nuked San Francisco.

Posted by Richard Steven Hack | January 30, 2008 1:44 AM

Huck has already won the election he set out to win. That ringing noise is MSNBC calling. Its either move over Pat, or goodbye Tucker. On second thought, maybe we all have won.

Posted by Frank | January 30, 2008 4:49 AM

Re Richard Steven Hack

"He probably would have nuked San Francisco."

Not a bad idea except that my sister lives in San Rafael.

Posted by SLC | January 30, 2008 9:24 AM