Captain Amnesty

Mark Krikorian argues:

As I point out in my piece on the homepage today, the open-borders cackling that Amnesty John's victory shows immigration to be politically irrelevant is wishful thinking.

Some might say that the prospects for an anti-immigrant movement that can't secure control over either political party aren't good, and that with the hispanic share of the electorate only growing the idea of the coming Age of Krikorian is wishful thinking. But more to the point, this "Amnesty John" business is no good. Let's stick with "Juan McCain" or, my personal favorite, "Captain Amnesty", which I'm especially drawn to because it reminds me of Anti-Flag's "Captain Anarchy". I keep trying to come up with McCain alternate lyrics for the song, but I don't have the chops for it.

Comments

You know, it dawned on me yesterday that all of the attacking against McCain by the conservative base in the end will have no other effect than solidify his moderate credentials.

If you add a Hillary nomination, the right wing will happily rally behind the now credibly built moderate and reasonable McCain who will start from a position of strength.

Posted by Nick Kaufman | February 7, 2008 5:46 PM

How about John McAmnesty?

A lot of people in middle America are quite upset about immigrants, but I don't know if they are upset enough to vote for an anti-immigrant candidate who had foreign and domestic policies they didn't like.

Posted by freddiemac | February 7, 2008 5:46 PM

From your lips to the Democratic Nominee's ears, Matt. Please encourage Hillary or Obama to run on a platform of offering amnesty to the 12-20 million illegal immigrants in this country. After all, the grass roots revolt against the McCain-Kennedy bill last year was just an illusion. It was probably just 20 or 30 redneck nativists who shut down the Senate switchboard. Most Americans think it would be swell to import more poverty and expand the underclass with another 10 or 20 million 4th grade dropouts. What could be the downside?

Posted by Fred | February 7, 2008 5:47 PM

Ah, Krikorian, a name redolent with Mayflower spirit. 'sfunny how so many second- or third-genners are neo-nativists. Still, at $120k/year of Scaife wingnut welfare, it's quite the deal for him.

(Still riding that one-trick nag, Fred? Yawn.)

Posted by pseudonymous in nc | February 7, 2008 5:57 PM

Anyone else looking forward to 3rd-party run siphoning 2-3% from the wingers' base?

Posted by ben | February 7, 2008 5:59 PM

1. Is there really such a thing as an "anti-immigrant movement"? Isn't MattY being "loose with the facts"?

Well, that's all I have based on the post, since as could be expected MattY didn't say anything.

So, I'll suggest that the DNC might want to consider someone getting a chance to make these points to Obama, and getting it on video. Other possible things we could discuss with Obama here: youtube.com/watch?v=Z0zfEXqND_s

I'm certainly not the only person who's familiar with this topic, nor am I the only person who's able to forcefully make an argument. So, sooner or later, someone's going to make those points to him. Good luck.

Posted by LonewackoDotCom | February 7, 2008 6:00 PM

Please encourage Hillary or Obama to run on a platform of offering amnesty to the 12-20 million illegal immigrants in this country.

Now, now. Obama doesn't just want to offer illegal immigrants amnesty. He wants to offer them drivers licenses too.

Posted by Al | February 7, 2008 6:14 PM

sooner or later, someone's going to make those points to him. Good luck.

Uh-huh. And yet, Wacko Macro was too shit-scared to crawl out from under his bed during Obama's campaign stops in L.A. to ask those hard kwestins. Perhaps he finds it too difficult to cut and paste in real life.

Posted by pseudonymous in nc | February 7, 2008 6:27 PM

I keep trying to come up with McCain alternate lyrics for the song, but I don't have the chops for it.

I don't have the chops either, but here's a quick attempt at the chorus:

A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
He says that he's a Maverick but it's only in his mind
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
So crooked a Straight Talker and he'll be one till he dies
Oh, oh, oh

Posted by Mark | February 7, 2008 6:30 PM

Please encourage Hillary or Obama to run on a platform of offering amnesty to the 12-20 million illegal immigrants in this country.

Your guy beat them to it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

This is the funniest thing I've seen in my life.

Posted by Ed Marshall | February 7, 2008 6:48 PM

My rock band agrees with you.

Posted by Captain Automatic | February 7, 2008 6:49 PM

matt if hillary pulls off a victory in the democratic primay (still a real possiblity) would you say that it shows how margianl oppostion to the iraq is if two supporters of the decioin to go in manage to the win the major parties nomination? As the polls in the link show Romeny got a massive boost out of his belated anit immigratoin stance it just wasn't convincing enough or big enough to let such a weak candidate win the election.

isn't there something ironic in the commentaros trying to ridiciouls krikonian for being of immigrant origin ? What's wrong wity that? and why do descendants of immigrants have to be in faovur of rewarding lawbreakers? Was it a condition at Ellis island?

Posted by edmund | February 7, 2008 6:52 PM

"(...) and that with the hispanic (sic) share of the electorate only growing the idea of the coming Age of Krikorian is wishful thinking."

Yes, because shamelessly and openly persuing narrow ethnic interests that grievously harm the general populace has worked so well for the Jews over the last half decade. If I were a Latino "community leader," I think I'd be careful right about now not to do anything that would convince people that my community has dual loyalities. While there's never a good time to do this, but this is a particularly terrible time, with wounds still hurting from the War for Israel in Iraq.

I wonder how long it will take for Mexicans in America to start think tanks, PACs, magazines, TV and radio programs, newspapers, and lobbies to convince Americans that all the enemies of Mexico are also enemies of the United States, and therefore the US must bomb and invade each and every single one of those aforementioned enemies.

Posted by Zarathustra | February 7, 2008 7:33 PM

Referencing only the divided loyalties part of the preciding comment, some Democrats aren't even trying to hide that they have divided loyalties. There's even a state senator supposedly representing U.S. interests at the same time as he serves on an advisory council to the Mexican president.

The GOP is only slightly worse: in the same city, the Bush admin allows the FDIC to work with the MexicanConsulate to give home loans to IllegalAliens.

Posted by TLB | February 7, 2008 8:08 PM

Damn, someone beat me to the "...A-M-N-E-S-T-Y..."

I can't tell you how amused I was at work today when I realized that spelling out "amnesty" would actually fit the chorus line. Well played sir.

Posted by Sefrankel | February 7, 2008 8:46 PM

Juan McCain is too blatantly racist. I thought they thought they were fooling someone?

Posted by aleks | February 7, 2008 10:21 PM

In California the Republican legislative minority continues to prevent a) any income or property tax increase on the rich and b) any legislation that might make crossing the street legal for illegal immigrants. Meet the future of the national Republican Party.

Posted by Linus | February 7, 2008 10:57 PM

What Linus forgot to tell you is that some of the Democratic CA legislators occasionally take actions that are indistinguishable from the actions that actual paid operatives of the MexicanGovernment would take. For instance, trying to give IllegalAliens a better deal on car impound fees that anyone else, fighting to let IllegalAliens take college discounts from U.S. citizens, and so on.

L.A.'s mayor - formerly a CA legislator - even congratulated Mexico's president on helping block a proposition that a clear majority of CAians voted for.

A good portion of the Dem leadership has no concept of borders, sovereignty, patriotism, and who they're supposed to represent.

Posted by TLB | February 7, 2008 11:46 PM

Space bar. It's the large button at the bottom of the keyboard. Use it, you paranoid blogwhoring white-supremacist-cosseting shut-in.

Posted by pseudonymous in nc | February 8, 2008 12:17 AM

Brand new on baseball, torture, Congress and human rights at Rudely Stamped:

"A Cock and Bull Story"

Michael Blaine
www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com

Posted by Michael Blaine | February 8, 2008 1:17 AM

Smug elitists in the leftist echo chamber discount illegal immigration opponents as simple yahoos motivated by racism/nativism at their, and the party's, peril.

Someone needs to explain to Obama that advocating for a continued illegal flood of illiterate helots is bad for working Americans in terms of wages and already overloaded social infrastructure; and it's also bad for poor compesinos, who are ruthlessly exploited by the current non-system.

Our problem, and it's a big one, is not with Mexicans. It's with Mexico. Acting as a release-valve for the corrupt and incompetent governments there doesn't help anyone except criminals and corporate exploiters. Loopholes in NAFTA have further impoverished subsistence farmers in Mexico by dumping subsidized US corn there, a situation demanding an immediate fix. It's less easily addressed, but ignoring the issue of border security is similarly suicidal.

We need to begin a serious, comprehensive policy to encourage reform in Mexico that could put that country on the same path as Ireland, from a devastatingly poor country whose main export is its population, to a global competitor emphasizing education and a business-friendly environment. Mexico is at least as important to our future as Iraq. Casually dismissing this crisis may be fashionable on the left, but it's dumb.

Posted by Robert Powell | February 8, 2008 2:35 AM

Acting as a release-valve for the corrupt and incompetent governments there doesn't help anyone except criminals and corporate exploiters

AMLO = Chavez, though, according to most American pols. The PAN has a sweet racket: when you drive out the poor, they're not likely to vote against you.

Posted by pseudonymous in nc | February 8, 2008 3:06 AM

Powell: "Mexico is at least as important to our future as Iraq."

Uh-oh! We're gonna invade Mexico!

Posted by Richard Steven Hack | February 8, 2008 3:45 AM

A friend of mine is one of these crazed anti-immigrant types. One of his complaints is that "those people" display their Mexican flags everywhere in the US. I said, well, didn't you ever notice all the Norwegian flags at my grandmother's house?

"That's different".

Notice that this specific complaint has nothing to do with illegal immigration. It's anti-immigrant in general. And, when I discussed this with him, almost all of his complaints were cultural, like that one. But he, like so many others, disguises his racism behind the facade of his concern over "lawbreakers". Again, though, when listing his various complaints, they are clearly culturally driven.

It's remarkable to me how easily and strongly people can rationalize bigotry. I don't think my friend wants to be a bigot—I think he is convinced that he's not.

Those who get the most worked-up about this issue, like some commenters here, overestimate its political importance. Yes, there's a minority of people who feel very strongly about this; and, yes, it's not a strictly right-wing issue. But while a lot of people will grumble about this, it's a lot more like flag burning that it is the Iraq War. It's something to bitch about around the water cooler. As McCain has proven—being on the business-side of this debate—one has many powerful allies. And a lot of people, a lot of white people, including me, are pro-immigrant (even pro-illegal immigrant) because we believe that immigration is a very positive thing for everyone involved. I'd increase the amount of legal immigration by one or two orders of magnitude, if I could. Illegal immigration doesn't concern me.

Posted by Keith M Ellis | February 8, 2008 4:19 AM

CAPTAIN AMNESTY
Artist: Anti-John
Album: A New Kind of Party?

A!

M!

N!

E!

S!

T!

Y!

He says that in the GOP, he's spent his fucking life
but his stance on immigration’s causing intra-party strife
he doesn’t want to build a wall so wetbacks can’t come here
and badmouths his own party just to make the left wing cheer

A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
His name is "Captain Amnesty" and Mexicans don’t mind
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
McCain’s a closet liberal and he’ll be one till he dies
Oh, oh, oh

You ever seen a “right-winger” who had any prayer
Of getting liberal journalists to praise him on the air?
He says he learned his lesson when his bill went down the tubes
In reality he still thinks that we’re just a bunch of fuckin’ rubes

A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
His name is "Captain Amnesty" and Mexicans don’t mind
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
He's amnesty incarnate--he’ll be that till he…

You know he just can't see
(Oy!*** Oy! Oy! Oy!)
He hurts the GOP!
(Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!)
I don't wanna be
(Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!)
Fighting, let's find a new nominee!
New nominee, new nominee, nominee

Let's go!
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
His name is "Captain Amnesty" and Mexicans don’t mind
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
McCain’s a closet liberal and he’ll be one till he dies
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
Until he dies
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
until he dies
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
until he dies
A-M-N-E-S-T-Y
until he dies
Dies!
__________________________________________

***Misspellings of "oi" intentional

Posted by JB | February 8, 2008 6:59 AM

There's a lot of people in this country who are against free trade, too. If you could get them all to vote for your party, you could probably win on it, but nobody's come close to doing so.

It's pretty obvious anti-immigration is going be the same thing because of Latino support for Democrats and business leaders support for Republicans.

Now, there have been times in American history when an issue not having a party (farmer's revolt, antislavery) has caused the formation of a new party. But those were a pretty long time ago.

Posted by witless chum | February 8, 2008 9:35 AM

Robert Powell,

You said it perfectly. Would you mind if I quote you on this issue in the future?

Posted by freddiemac | February 8, 2008 10:14 AM

Now, now. Obama doesn't just want to offer illegal immigrants amnesty. He wants to offer them drivers licenses too.

I do not understand the point of not letting undocumented workers have licenses.

Posted by example | February 8, 2008 10:55 AM

I'd increase the amount of legal immigration by one or two orders of magnitude, if I could. Illegal immigration doesn't concern me.

Kieth, it doesn't sound *quite* as completely insane when you say it that way as opposed to saying "10 million to 100 million per year". Even Tyler Cowen doesn't advocate that. You get points for honesty. I've never really seen someone explicitly put it that way. They just say something like "open borders", not mentioning (or maybe even unaware) of the fact that we would get 10 to 100+ million people per year. You must be actually aware of Steve Sailer's oft stated fact of 5 billion people living in countries poorer than mexico. But, having a billion or so of them move here is a horrifying prospect to me and 95% of americans I suspect. It would be 99.999 percent if the actual horrific consequences could be known in advance.

Posted by pjgoober | February 8, 2008 12:59 PM

Robert Powell,

I'm all for Mexico reforming its economy, but, as a practical matter, we can't influence the Mexican elites directly to make those reforms. The current Mexican economy may offer few opportunities for advancement for the average Mexican, but it suits Carlos Slim et. al. just fine. Fortunately though, Mexico is a democracy. The most effective indirect way to influence reform there is to encourage Mexican illegal immigrants to go home, by denying them jobs here. 10 million+ ambitious, motivated Mexicans with some pocket money from the U.S. should be able to organize themselves politically and demand the necessary reforms.

Posted by Fred | February 8, 2008 1:11 PM

JB wins the thread. There's a job waiting for him in Tin Pan Alley or at the Brill Building (or at least with Weird Al Yankovic).

Posted by Dilan Esper | February 8, 2008 2:03 PM

"Someone needs to explain to Obama that advocating for a continued illegal flood of illiterate helots is bad for working Americans in terms of wages and already overloaded social infrastructure; and it's also bad for poor compesinos, who are ruthlessly exploited by the current non-system."

America: just like Sparta! (only less gay)

(Didn't you see 300 Linus? They weren't really gay.)

Oh yes, not really gay.

Posted by Linus | February 8, 2008 9:31 PM

Fred:
You're right up to a point, and especially about the impact of returnees--not only would they have a bit of money, they'd have had the experience of living in a society that's at least somewhat functional.

On influencing the Mexican oligarchy, your suggestion implies concrete action from us--cracking down on (especially big corporate) employers exploiting the illegals. In addition, I think addressing the loopholes in NAFTA that allow Cargill and ADM to dump subsidized grain and wipe out Mexican small farmers is a must-do. There are lots of other things we could be doing to strengthen Mexican civil society in a way that could produce long-term gains against the oligarchy. I think the EU's policies toward's Ireland offers an excellent example.

While I applaud Keith Ellis' honesty, I can only conclude that he is either ignorant of the suffering caused by the current non-system, or remarkably callous.

I'm flattered freddiemac. Use me as you will.

Posted by Robert Powell | February 9, 2008 4:45 AM

Can we PLEASE not push this nickname?

I read it as "Hispanics: Vote for John McCain!" -- combined with the narrative that "Hispanics don't like blacks and therefore won't vote for Obama," this sets us up for a really dangerous dynamic in November.

Posted by Anthony Damiani | February 13, 2008 4:01 AM