More hilariously over-the-top commentary on Knut the baby polar bear: "Knut the polar bear has turned from a cuddly cub into a publicity-addicted psycho, one of his keepers claimed yesterday . . . Mr Roebke added: 'The trouble is that he identifies himself as a human and not as a polar bear.'" Personally, I strictly identify as a polar bear.
« The Wages of Corruption | Main | ISCI is the New SCIRI »
Knut Trouble
27 Mar 2008 02:13 pm
Comments (26)
The trouble is that he identifies himself as a human
This is also the trouble with Vice President Cheney.
MY = Polar Bear = publicity addicted psycho....?
At long last, the "Matthew Yglesias is a Bear" meme can finally begin.
Why not just rub yourself with Colbert pheromones and paint a bullseye on your back?
I heard MY was all BEAR when he was watching the Wizards at Nellie's on U-Street . . .
that's just the word . . .
Given MY's inability to type, I suspect that repeated typing of "Knut" involved at least one deletion of a n/u inversion. At least it got him to proofread.
Come to San Francisco, Matt. Lots of guys like bears here!
Tigers, not so much...
Since polar bears are known for being very aggressive, it also explains your inability to let Ross or Megan get a word in edge-wise at "The Table."
That also explains your typos - your fingers are too fat for the keyboard. Or maybe the hair on them gets trapped between the keys.
This anthropomorphizing animals by pseudo-scientific zoologists is getting way out of hand. I have no idea what it would mean that a polar bear "identifies" as a human. Maybe "he thinks he's a human" would be more accurate, but I still don't know what that would mean for an animal.
Zoo keepers seem to be among the worst anthropomorphizers among zoologists. They practically treat zoo animals like their pets--except with less sympathy and affection. Not that they mistreat them, but they frequently go off on these moralistic rants about how "spoiled", "lazy" or "narcissistic" the elephants or pandas or lions are.
I thought the Atlantic blogger who was a bear was Sullivan, not Matt. I'm confused.
Matt dodged a bullett with that title.
Saying you identify as a polar bear reminds me of the definition of polar bear from Love and Rockets: "So cuddly and cute in his cage but when you want to get close enough to cuddle him he tears you apart and swallows you whole."
who cares if he identifies as a polar bear? he's going to live the rest of his life in a cage looked at by people, so it's just as well for him that he likes human attention.
A female friend of mine has an ex-boyfriend who left her to be the lion in a gay furry relationship with a polar bear.
You've gotta be 50+ to qualify as a polar bear, son. You're still in the prime of cubdom.
"That also explains your typos - your fingers are too fat for the keyboard. Or maybe the hair on them gets trapped between the keys".
I think it is wrong. Bears type using their claws, which are long and just sufficiently thin, but they do not articulate, so hitting correct keys is more tricky.
And one you claw apart your umpteenth keybord out of frustration (this stuff is really flimsy) you learn to by more philosophical.
It's amazing how completely ignorant you are of gay people, MY.
You're definitely a bear, or as the previous commenter said, a cub.
Big and hairy, that's how I like 'em. You up for some beadplay and salad tossing next time I'm in DC?
This anthropomorphizing animals by pseudo-scientific zoologists is getting way out of hand. I have no idea what it would mean that a polar bear "identifies" as a human. Maybe "he thinks he's a human" would be more accurate, but I still don't know what that would mean for an animal.
Most higher animals presumably identify with their family group, particularly social animals. If you are going to survive, or get to reproduce, you are going to have to recognize your own species.
"Identifies as a human" probably just means that the "my own kind" response is triggered by humans, just like a human can trigger the "mother" imprinting on ducklings.
"I strictly identify as a polar bear.
We really need to get past the trap of identity politics . . .
There is treatment available for the bi-polar bear.
"Most higher animals presumably identify with their family group, particularly social animals. If you are going to survive, or get to reproduce, you are going to have to recognize your own species."
Yes, it's clear there is some kind of grouping instinct in many animals. So maybe the zookeeper is just saying that Knut's instincts are getting screwed up and I'm making something out of nothing. But for humans identity is not just some herding instinct.
"But for humans identity is not just some herding instinct."
Unless you're a Republican or a Christian Zionist...
Or a Britney Spears fan...
There is treatment available for the bi-polar bear.
There's no such thing as a bi polar bear; you're either a straight bear or a gay bear. "Bi" polar bears just need to make up their minds.
Was that the real Stephen Colbert who commented just then?
Or a fake one, like the Fake Sinbad at TPM?
Comments closed April 10, 2008.
| 
Heads in the Sand
I strictly identify as a polar bear.
You, sir, are the greatest threat facing America today.
Posted by Stephen Colbert | March 27, 2008 2:44 PM