More Kagans

Things like Joe Klein's treasonous call for fewer Kagans and more knowledge is the sort of irresponsible hysteria we've come to expect from the anti-American Left. As everyone knows, the main problem in Iraq (aside from MSM efforts to only report bad news in the hopes of encouraging attacks on our troops) has been in insufficient number of Kagans. If we could replace the entire military presence in Iraq with an Army of Kagans in a 20 Kagans for every 1,000 Iraqis ratio, then our problems would rapidly be solved.

We need, in short, more Kagans, not fewer. And as much ignorance as possible which, of course, additional Kagans could also supply. The only thing standing between us and victory is the need to develop better cloning technology.

Comments

The Kagan empire. Much worse than anything Gene Rodenberry could have imagined.

Posted by artmann11 | April 3, 2008 9:16 AM

Could robots be applied to this problem? Like in Star Wars, where they used robots until the cloning technology developed to a higher point?

As I remember the horrible mosquito whine of the Big Dog robots, deploying 2,000,000 of them through Iraq would unite the country against a common threat in no time. (Kind of like how even passionate first amendment supporters here all got on board the Do Not Call List.)

Posted by Deborah | April 3, 2008 9:22 AM

It's regression to the mean. Donald (a.k.a 'Big Daddy') Kagan is an actual scholar, who took the tenured class's option of political irresponsibility. The sons are merely irresponsible. See also: Ben Stein wrt Herbert Stein.

Posted by MattF | April 3, 2008 9:33 AM

Did Donald have a sister? That would explain a few things.

Posted by artmann11 | April 3, 2008 9:37 AM

I've read a book by Donald "Breeder" Kagan, about strategies aimed at preventing war, which I thought was pretty good. Yes, it was perhaps a little too hawkish for my taste, but well reasoned. I can't remember the title.

What the heck happened with the kids?

Posted by Jim W | April 3, 2008 9:49 AM

For a hint about what happened to the kids, check out Kagan senior's snotty dismissal of the British Marxist de Sainte Croix's book on the origins of the Peloponnesian war. Which is a much better, more intellectually challenging, and thought provoking book than anything Kagan Sr. has written, which tends to be dully competent.

Posted by Gene O'Grady | April 3, 2008 9:59 AM

Clearly, what we need here is a Kagan breeding program, in which Kagans are paired with the fair-haired daughters of defense contractors to create an entire army of Sonnenkagans.

Posted by LaFollette Progressive | April 3, 2008 9:59 AM

April Fools! Klein would never write anything including facts. You got played, Matt.

Posted by John Emerson | April 3, 2008 10:13 AM

Wait, are you calling for an army of people who looks like this?

http://video.thinkprogress.org/2007/07/kaganaei28.320.240.jpg

I get it! The AQI terr'ists would wet themselves laughing and never recover their will to fight. It's genius!

Posted by Jeff S. | April 3, 2008 10:26 AM

I blame environmental regulations as somehow causing this dearth of Kagans.

Posted by Delicious Pundit | April 3, 2008 10:29 AM

I'd pay untold sums for an Army of Kagans (TM) to write articles non-stop just for the pleasure of watching Joe Klein's head explode, reassemble, and explode again.

Seriously, it's only a matter of time before Klein tosses the "neo-colonialist" hand grenade and every sane person knows to clear the room to give him space for incendiary hissy fits.

Posted by MarkG | April 3, 2008 10:42 AM

We need more PNAC members in general, perpetuating their ignorance through convincing (false) arguments adopted by policy makers and neocon media outlets.

Posted by AKBY | April 3, 2008 10:44 AM

You should include at least a battalion of Victor D. Hanson clones to provide the necessary "Shock and Awe".

Posted by Jim Harrison | April 3, 2008 10:47 AM

You should include at least a battalion of Victor D. Hanson clones to provide the necessary "Shock and Awe".

Posted by Jim Harrison | April 3, 2008 10:48 AM

This is an awfully snarky post for someone who, while in prime draft age, supported the Iraq War from the comfort of his post-Harvard perch.

Posted by calipygian | April 3, 2008 11:45 AM

Yes, Kagan the Elder is a respectable Classics scholar, though frankly the books of his I'd read were pretty mediocre and mundane.

And I remember that G.E.M. de St. Croix's books, with their highly innovative marxist analysis of Antiquity were fascinating, though not entirely convincing.

Interestingly enough, his marxist analysis was totally different from that of Marx himself---whom he regarded as rather ignorant of ancient societies---but he claimed he felt confident he would have been able to persuade Marx of his numerous errors if given the opportunity.

Posted by RKU | April 3, 2008 12:03 PM

So, your strategy is to bore the Iraqis into submission? Everyone knows Kagans don't actually do any of the fighting themselves.

Posted by Shalimar | April 3, 2008 12:11 PM

Well, their current numbers may be insufficient, but I say we send them all over now and hope for the best. After all, you go to war with the Army of Kagans you have, not the one you wish you had.

Posted by jlw | April 3, 2008 12:42 PM

This is an awfully snarky post for someone who, while in prime draft age, supported the Iraq War from the comfort of his post-Harvard perch.
Posted by calipygian

Cal, we're not talking about the Kagans of five years ago . . .

Posted by SqueakyRat | April 3, 2008 1:45 PM

You misread them. It's not "Kagans" we need, it's "Kurgans" - the guy in 'Highlander".

From Wikipedia:

"The Kurgan's true name is never stated. His tribe, the Kurgans, were infamous for their cruelty, and were known to "toss children into pits full of starved dogs, and watch them fight [for the] meat" for amusement."

"In order to throw Connor's concentration off, the Kurgan kidnapped his then-girlfriend, a screaming Brenda Wyatt, and raced all the way to the abandoned Silvercup building while driving down the wrong side of the highway, playing chicken and running over pedestrians while gleefully singing the theme from 'New York, New York.'"

He had my favorite line in the movie: After sneering "Happy Halloween, ladies!" at some nuns in church, and lapping his tongue at them, he turned to Connor McCleod and said, "Nuns! No sense of humor!"

Watch the scene!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGNj1yR9eEY&feature=related

Posted by Richard Steven Hack | April 4, 2008 5:05 AM