Bad Movies

While flying back and forth from LAX last week, I had the opportunity -- as one does on long plane flights -- to sample some seriously sub-par films. 27 Dresses turns out to be substantially better than Jumper and when you control for the fact that I'm in the Jumper demographic group rather than the 27 Dresses one you can figure that Dresses must actually be much, much, much better.

That's too bad, because even though Jumper looked bad and got bad reviews, I like all of Doug Liman's other movies, even Go and Mr. and Mrs. Smith that nobody else seems to have enjoyed.

Comments

Go was good - Timothy Olyphant's best work I think, and he plays some good sleazeballs. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was disappointing - two good actors phoning it in.

Posted by Anonymous | May 12, 2008 11:30 AM

I really loved "Go" too. I also thought the first "Bourne" movie (which Liman directed, right?) was way better than the second.

Posted by James Gary | May 12, 2008 11:35 AM

So, Mr. Fancy Pants Trust Fund Scumbag has all this extra money just lying around so he can buy him them headphones to listen to the movin' pictures in his big fancy flyin' machine. Phooey!

Posted by El Cid | May 12, 2008 11:36 AM

I think with Mr. and Mrs. Smith you have to control for the fact that it was written as an action movie for women. I actually didn't like 27 Dresses all that much. I have a problem with a lot of American romantic comedies; they make characters irredeemable. (I also hate the fact that most romantic comedies spend a lot of time emasculating the male character.) The fact that the sister turns out to be so awful makes the whole thing fall apart for me. I like my comedy to ultimately value something, which means I tend to find a lot of things not funny.

Posted by LL | May 12, 2008 11:41 AM

Actually I thought for people in the Mr. & Mrs Smith demographic it was a good movie. "Go" wasn't that good, but I saw it at 27 and not 19 ... had I seen it at 19 I would have thought it was awesome.

Bummer that Jumpers was not that good.

Posted by Nicholas Beaudrot | May 12, 2008 11:41 AM

For a bad series of in-flight movies, nothing beats the vacation I took about ten years ago or so when IIRC the two movies on every flight were "Only You" and "Stargate." Having to choose between "The Ring Two" and "Constantine" on a trans-Pacific flight with LCD screens, meaning that I could never see what was going on in those poorly-lit movies watching on these plastic pieces of crap, also wasn't fun after a few hours.

I like Katherine Heigl, but if all of her movies end up being made for just the "Grey's Anatomy" crowd, she and Kate Hudson will have to find a way to just go away and take their crappy movies with them.

Posted by Reality Man | May 12, 2008 11:42 AM

Eh, LL, I thought it failed at being both an action movie and an action movie written for women. I was pretty bored.

Posted by woman aka former deaniac | May 12, 2008 11:48 AM

I'm not sure why you would say "nobody else seemed to enjoy" Go: it's 91 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes and has a 7.3 rating on IMDB, suggesting both critical and popular acclaim. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was no great shakes, but it clocked in at 59% and 6.4; not great, perhaps, but certainly not reviled, either.

Posted by Sonny Bunch | May 12, 2008 11:50 AM

No, the worst slate of in flight movies was when I had the choice between Alvin and the Chipmunks... and Alvin and the Chipmunks en Espanol

Posted by Jack | May 12, 2008 11:51 AM

woman aka former deaniac, oh, I agree, it's ultimately boring.

Posted by LL | May 12, 2008 11:53 AM

I have really, really liked all of the Doug Liman movies I have seen. From what I hear, though, he is a really erratic director. I think that he actually walked off of the Bourne Identity post-production (and one of the producers, was it Frank Marshall?, had to complete the final cut).

I think this is part of why Paul Greengrass was brought in. Having said that, Bourne 1 was by far my favorite.

- g

Posted by G | May 12, 2008 11:54 AM

El Cid:
I know it is fun to kick Petey when he's done but can we please stop it? Aren't "Birkenstock wearing, latte sipping, Volvo driving liberals" a better phrase to use?

Posted by Joe Klein's conscience | May 12, 2008 11:59 AM

Huh? People don't like Go? Who? They should be sent to re-education camps.

Seriously, it didn't perform that well at the box office, but everyone I know that's seen the film likes it afaik.

Posted by IMU | May 12, 2008 12:00 PM

Too bad. His stuff was so fresh on Swingers and Go. I didn't like the Swingers follow up (was it called Made?). I never tried the Bourne series, looked like a snooze fest. Did I miss anything? Ditto with Mr and Mrs Smith.

Posted by freddiemac | May 12, 2008 12:01 PM

In March I had two domestic trips about three weeks apart, on separate airlines. The featured film on both flights was "August Rush". The worst part was that I could still hear the sound leaking from somewhere, even though I wasn't plugged into the headphone jack.

How do these airplane movie things work, anyway? Do studios force the airlines to take their biggest flops? Or is this just another way the airlines shave costs?

Posted by Jon | May 12, 2008 12:10 PM

It's a shame that Jumper wasn't good, because the book (and its sequel Reflex) were really enjoyable.

Posted by samba00 | May 12, 2008 12:15 PM

Forget about bad movies -- how about bad political blogs?

Like the kind which can discuss 27 Dresses, Iron Man,and a bunch of other stupid ass movies but which IGNORED one of the best Political Dramas in YEARS: "Lions for Lambs".

Both when it was released in theaters and now-- when it has just came out on DVD.

Why did Matthew MAJOR in philosophy?

If he had been sitting at SOCRATES knee 2400 years ago he would have ignored what Socrates was saying in favor of gossiping with Gorgias about the new discus thrower trying out for the Olympics -- or snickering about the newest comedy from Aristophanes called "Clouds".

Posted by Don Williams | May 12, 2008 12:19 PM

Go is a great film. It probably won't age too well, but it was very much of its time. Or rather, slightly after its time,

(Watching it now would probably remind you of when Katie Holmes was an autonomous human being.)

It's definitely one of those films you felt nobody else cared about.

Posted by pseudonymous in nc | May 12, 2008 12:22 PM

Responding to Jon's question about the economics: Back when TV was the only aftermarket for movies, the studios used to package one big hit with a bunch of dogs and sell them to a network at a single price. Then for accounting purposes, they would allocate the sale price equally across the whole package. It was all part of the process of making sure the hit never made money on paper, so the studio didn't have to pay the people who were entitled to a share of the profits.

Posted by roac | May 12, 2008 12:24 PM

My worst in-flight movie experience was watching "Failure to Launch" (starring Matthew McConnaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker). It's not just that the movie was awful, it was that everyone else in the plane laughed through the entire movie.

Posted by Clark | May 12, 2008 12:30 PM

I love Katherine Heigl, beautiful and funny. I even watched some episodes of Grey's Anatomy just because she was in it. I was hoping her career would take off after "Knocked Up," but I had no interest in seeing "27 Dresses." Her next movie, "The Ugly Truth," also looks like it's for the Grey's Anatomy crowd (summary via IMDB):

"A romantically challenged morning show producer (Heigl) is reluctantly embroiled in a series of outrageous tests by her chauvinistic correspondent (Butler) to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love. His clever ploys, however, lead to an unexpected result."

(Gee, what could that result be?)

Also, I've found that (for me at least) whether I enjoy the movie or not depends entirely on my pre-viewing expectations. For "Rush Hour 3," for example, I knew it wouldn't be a clever plot or a non-stop laugh. I just hoped to hear a few good jokes, see a few good fight scenes. So I didn't hate it like everyone else did.

Posted by 55 | May 12, 2008 12:31 PM

I liked Jumper.

Posted by pdf | May 12, 2008 12:31 PM

Re freddiemac's comment "I never tried the Bourne series, looked like a snooze fest. Did I miss anything? "
----------
Only the best spy movies since Geena Davis and Samuel Jackson's "The Long Kiss Goodnight".

Posted by Don Williams | May 12, 2008 12:32 PM

Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Ugh. Just - ugh.

Posted by McKingford | May 12, 2008 12:36 PM

Mr. and Mrs. Smith was disappointing - two good actors phoning it in.

My god, I am so disappointed in the human race.

If we can't appreciate M&MS, what hope is there for us?

I still crack up every time I watch that movie. The second dinner scene, where Brad Pitt's expecting to be poisoned, is priceless. And the movie is full of moments like that.

Watch it again when you're older & wiser (& more married), kids.

Posted by Anderson | May 12, 2008 12:42 PM

I read somewhere that they're going to remake Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but this time with bigger stars. I can't wait!

Posted by WIlbur | May 12, 2008 12:58 PM

I never even heard of anyone who said they liked Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Watching this film (ok. I did not last the whole film) was worse than a visit to the dentist...much worse.

Posted by della Rovere | May 12, 2008 1:04 PM

"Also, I've found that (for me at least) whether I enjoy the movie or not depends entirely on my pre-viewing expectations. For "Rush Hour 3," for example, I knew it wouldn't be a clever plot or a non-stop laugh. I just hoped to hear a few good jokes, see a few good fight scenes. So I didn't hate it like everyone else did.

Posted by 55 | May 12, 2008 12:31 PM"

Good point. I had the same experience watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith (but never watch it on hi-def - everyone's makeup becomes too easy to see and makes everyone look like clowns. It's distracting.). The first time I saw Zoolander, I hated it. A friend talked me into re-watching it and I found it a lot funnier the second time around having no expectations going into it.

Posted by Reality Man | May 12, 2008 1:18 PM

I'm with most of the above commenters: Go is excellent and I don't know anyone who doesn't think so. I loved it in 1999 and recently saw it again: still awesome, and now becoming charmingly dated. Probably the best Katie Holmes role ever -- although that's not saying a lot -- and the world needs much more of Sarah Polley.

That said, Liman's been in a brutal slide since Bourne.

Posted by right | May 12, 2008 1:20 PM

I thought "Go" was great. The scene where the female lead (Sarah Polley?) convinces the gullible kids that the pills she sold them were Ecstasy (She: You have to smoke a lot of pot to really feel it. Them: "It's, like, really wavy") was hilarious. Also features a pre-Zombie Katie Holmes.

Posted by bobbo | May 12, 2008 1:24 PM

Heh, I saw 'Go' at 18 (a year after it was released), and I had a fairly mixed view of it at the time. It had it's moments, others I didn't care for. Mostly because I didn't like several of the characters and got no enjoyment from them.

It's really kind of dated at this point, and it's really just something we 20-somethings watch to remember how awesome our youth in the 90's was. It hasn't held up well.

Posted by soullite | May 12, 2008 1:43 PM

No wonder Americans are so stupid. Long flights are the perfect time to catch up on reading, and people like you waste it watching crappy movies.

Posted by blah | May 12, 2008 1:48 PM

And this thread reveals that Don Williams's taste in film might be crazier than his Haim Saban obsession. As a fan of Shane Black's one-liner's, I of course own and recommend that people watch Long Kiss Goodnight, but it's a terribly absurd movie.

Posted by washerdreyer | May 12, 2008 1:59 PM

Don Williams' comment reminds me of the classic SNL Jesse Jackson sketch, "The Question is Moot".

Posted by Dilan Esper | May 12, 2008 2:06 PM

Lions for Lambs is one of the best political dramas in years? Maybe you're being sarcastic, but if not, I saw the movie, and that's news to me. It's the kind of movie that felt like it was written by a bad blogger, with lots of obvious big politcal statements but very little insight that can't be gained from reading a handful of Kos comments on any post about the war.

Plus, it was very badly made. The three storylines were very awkwardly intercut; Redford and his writers and editors just couldn't figure out a way to keep those balls in the air. The film flashes from one to the other without any particular purpose and they're not really even thematically linked (except "the war is bad") to boot.

The one thing that I did enjoy about it, though, is the casting of Cruise as a GOP senator. Dude has just the right mix of intensity and insincerity to make that a spot-on match for his typical on-screen personality.

Posted by strannix | May 12, 2008 2:26 PM

I think the Bourne movies have been getting better as they go along.

Katie Holmes best movie is "Pieces of April".

Real long flights are why Lunesta got invented.

Posted by Jeffrey Davis | May 12, 2008 2:30 PM

I just have to second Samba00's recommendation of the original book (and the sequel). They're really, really good. (I've worn out at least two copies of Jumper.)

Posted by Shadow Wolf | May 12, 2008 2:39 PM

Re washerdreyer's comment "I of course own and recommend that people watch Long Kiss Goodnight, but it's a terribly absurd movie "
----------------
1)I said it was a great spy movie -- not something the artsy fartsy crowd would rave about for artistic values.

2) For one thing, Geena Davis did an excellent job at showing how one wins in tactical situations:

Situational awareness (Observing everything, noticing anomalies, and remembering everything) plus pre-planned hair-trigger responses that resemble the military's Immediate Action Drills but which are adaptive, Reasoned responses constructed on the fly versus the military's canned responses.

Example: When Davis sights the assassin in the train station, she immediately grabs the revolver Jackson had put in his jacket pocket 15 minutes earlier and fires.

Example: When they are trapped on the third floor of the train station, she knows which window to crash through in order to fall into a water pond instead of breaking a leg on a parking lot. Because she remembered the layout of area surrounding the train station from her entry 20 minutes earlier.

I don't know if someone was whispering advice in Geena's ear or if she figured it out on her own. She is Mensa, after all. Which is a burden when you're trying to sell a movie to what Richard calls the chimpanzees.

3) The driving element in the plot -- a spy chief trying to maintain his budget -- seems unrealistic. Even though 25 percent of Intel Community personnel were tossed out on the streets in the 1990s by Bill And Hillary.

But look at what the Intel budget has done since Sept 11. Was that debacle punished -- or rewarded?

4) Of course, the spy chief's suggestion that rogue elements in the US Government's staged the 1993 World Trade Center bombing was absurd, wasn't it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnvXnDxiuFY

Anyone ever heard of Emad Salem, by the way?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emad_Salem

How about the 1995 Bojinka Plot? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Bojinka#Phase_II.2C_CIA_plane_crash_plot

Yet there we were on Sept 11, 2001: Lying down with our legs spread.

Posted by Don Williams | May 12, 2008 3:47 PM

Re strannix's comment "Lions for Lambs is one of the best political dramas in years? Maybe you're being sarcastic, but if not, I saw the movie, and that's news to me. It's the kind of movie that felt like it was written by a bad blogger, with lots of obvious big politcal statements but very little insight that can't be gained from reading a handful of Kos comments on any post about the war."
----------
You speak as if that's a bad thing.

Hey, it's made for an American audience. Can't set the bar too high -- Look at what Fox News and the other TV networks have been giving us for the past 6 years, if you don't believe me:

"Saddam's nukes". "Mushroom clouds".

and you're complaining to me about PLOT?

Posted by Don Williams | May 12, 2008 4:06 PM

No one enjoyed Liman's "Go"?! Are you kidding?! It's STILL Liman's best work - a cult classic and a masterpiece! - Mike McK.

Posted by Michael McKegney | May 12, 2008 4:42 PM

No one enjoyed Liman's "Go"?! Are you kidding?! It's STILL Liman's best work - a cult classic and a masterpiece! - Mike McK.

Posted by Michael McKegney | May 12, 2008 4:42 PM

No one enjoyed Liman's "Go"?! Are you kidding?! It's STILL Liman's best work - a cult classic and a masterpiece! - Mike McK.

Posted by Michael McKegney | May 12, 2008 4:44 PM

I... I... I... I kinda... I kinda liked Jumper a lot.

Posted by Hob | May 12, 2008 5:56 PM

I liked jumper. I do NOT understand people's complaints against it. I looked on rottentomatoes.com but couldn't find any real substantial complaints. People just seemed to dismiss it out of hand.

The movie really glued me to my seat the whole time.

Posted by Erik | May 12, 2008 7:15 PM

"Only the best spy movies since Geena Davis and Samuel Jackson's "The Long Kiss Goodnight"."

I agree. I liked "Long Kiss Goodnight", even though it was savaged by everybody since it was a "Geena Davis vehicle" with her director husband. I also thought her earlier pirate movie wasn't that bad. Apparently the only reason these movies failed was that Angelina Jolie hadn't done the "Tomb Raider" movies yet, so a female action hero wasn't acceptable to the critics.

I liked "Mr, and Mrs. Smith", although I thought the plot was simplistic. Great action scenes, though - and once again, Angelina got so much combat handgun training out of that on TOP of all her other action movies training that she could probably outgun a SEAL Team by now.

Too bad Matt didn't see "Hit Man" - that was a great flick, despite being based on a video game, and despite the mostly unknown cast, except for Olyphant. Olga Kurylenko wasn't bad, despite being a model. The only dumb part was having to suspend the fact that walking around with a bald head with a bar code tattoo on it was feasible for a hit man trying to stay uncaught.

An amusing thing about that movie turns out that "June", the girl who is rejected by 47 in the bar in the beginning, turns out to be Sabine Camille Cresson, a French-American actress. I got interested in her from that scene and wondered if she'd done anything else, so I looked her up via Google, finding her agent's page and then her home page, which has a nice video collage of her roles in various films. She's mostly a comedienne doing slapstick romantic comedies, but she actually played a hit woman in one of her French movies.

I'm thinking of seeing the current movie "Deception" which has an interesting cast, including hotties Maggie Q, Michelle Williams, and Natasha Henstridge. Main stars are Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor. And it's about sex clubs and heists. How can you lose?

Posted by Richard Steven Hack | May 12, 2008 9:06 PM

The Long Kiss Goodnight? Isn't that the one where Davis and Jackson outrun all those explosions? Made me wonder why soldiers in battle get killed all the time when all they have to do is move just a little faster than the the flying bits of shrapnel.

Posted by Xboy | May 12, 2008 10:14 PM

The Long Kiss Goodnight? Isn't that the one where Davis and Jackson outrun all those explosions? Made me wonder why soldiers in battle get killed all the time when all they have to do is move just a little faster than the flying bits of shrapnel.

Posted by Xboy | May 12, 2008 10:16 PM

I support Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I liked it in the theater with high-ish expectations, and I loved it at home, two years later, with low expectations.

I also think it's a feminist allegory, yo. That's not what makes it fun, but that's what makes it awesome.

Posted by Michael A. | May 13, 2008 1:47 AM