Department of Crazy Notions

K-Lo reminds us why she is an irreplaceable national treasure:

A totally crazy Saturday-morning thought: Wouldn't George W. Bush make an awesome high-school government teacher? Wouldn't it be something if his post-presidential life would up being that kind of post-service service? How's that for a model? Who needs Harvard visiting chairs and high-end lectures? How about Crawford High? (Or wherever?) Reach out and touch the young before they are jaded, or break them of the cynicism pop culture and possibly their parents have passed down to them. Whatever you think of President Bush, he's a likable guy in love with his country with some history and experience to share.

The best part will be when he explains to kids that the president does not, in fact, have an obligation to follow the law and can just order arbitrary detention and torture willy-nilly because, hey, we're a nation at (undeclared, neverending) war. "That's right kids, if President Obama wants to have your testicles crushed no law and no treaty can stop him -- that's what the constitution says!" But of course if those kind of opinions are good enough for Berkeley Law School then why not high school civics?

Comments

"But Mr. Bush! Mr. Bush! My daddy told me that there are three equal branches of government!"

"Ridiculous! No recess for you!"

Posted by Random Dude | July 5, 2008 5:19 PM

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law" (Nov. 22, 2000).

You don't get everything you want. A dictatorship would be a lot easier." Describing what it's like to be governor of Texas.
(Governing Magazine 7/98)

-- From Paul Begala's "Is Our Children Learning?"

"I told all four that there are going to be some times where we don't agree with each other, but that's OK. If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator," Bush joked.

-- CNN.com, December 18, 2000

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it, " [Bush] said.

-- Business Week, July 30, 2001

Epic. Fucking. Fail.

And is K-Lo actually Jean Teasdale, columnist for the Onion?

Posted by calipygian | July 5, 2008 5:23 PM

A credible argument for home-schooling.

Posted by John B. | July 5, 2008 5:26 PM

Light posting on The Corner today. Methinks the Corner denizens are more embarassed by the suggestion that Dumbya should teach high school American Government than they are by the Jesse Helms hagiography.

Posted by calipygian | July 5, 2008 5:29 PM

That picture of that shithead Yoo is all kinds of hilarious.

Posted by JFD | July 5, 2008 5:35 PM

Hey, if it inspires K-Lo to finally get that diploma, great.

Posted by Bill | July 5, 2008 5:56 PM

K-Lo conveniently forgets that Bush, given a choice of how to spend his free time, would prefer to ride his bicycle, clear brush, and tell dirty jokes with his friends. That she thinks he'd want to deal with the time commitment and stress of teaching only shows how much she hasn't been paying attention or how much she projects a fantasy image of Bush that doesn't exist.

Posted by Tyro | July 5, 2008 5:56 PM

This is about as funny as her current search for virgin female role models (don't be shy K-Lo, nominate yourself!)

Posted by Rosemary | July 5, 2008 6:19 PM

the only part of this i find surprising is that k-lo (and, therefore, almost certainly others around her) still think bush is a likeable guy....

Posted by howard | July 5, 2008 6:23 PM

"Whatever you think of President Bush, he's a likeable guy..."

WTF???

Posted by putnam | July 5, 2008 6:31 PM

the only part of this i find surprising is that k-lo (and, therefore, almost certainly others around her) still think bush is a likeable guy....

I think its pretty well accepted that if Bush and K-Lo were high school classmates, or college classmates for that matter, K-Lo would have a major league unrequited crush on Dumbya and Dumbya would make snide, cruel remarks about her looks and weight, all the while holding her in contempt for her crush on him.

You know what I'm saying is true. And the amazing part is that neither one of them has grown one bit past that point.

Posted by calipygian | July 5, 2008 6:34 PM

What self-respecting Republican is going to take a job with minimum HMO benefits and a starting salary of under $38,000? I mean, seriously?

Also, at what point has Bush conveyed any experience or knowledge of American history? If Bush is going to teach anything at a high school level, it's gonna be auto shop (car engine explodes) okay maybe not. Oh, okay, he's gonna teach English Compositi... hurm. Biology, no way... Physics, don't think so... can you picture him working with algebra? Yeah, thought not. Um, can we trust him with the typewriting class...?

Posted by PaulW | July 5, 2008 6:51 PM

Whatever you think of President Bush, he's a likable guy
Hahaha!

in love with his country
HAHAHAHAHA! ! !

with some history and experience to share.
Yeah, if "Do the opposite of everything I did" is "experience to share".

Posted by Notorious P.A.T. | July 5, 2008 7:03 PM

I think Bush should become a midwife. He's not qualified to be a midwife, but being qualified for things has never stopped him from doing anything before. He's the Rachael Ray President!

Posted by RoboticGhost | July 5, 2008 7:21 PM

Wally: Wow. Sorry about that, Mr. J. You're still gonna take us camping?

Mr. J: Of course, I will, Wally. Of course I will.

Kelly: Are you still gonna take me to get my abortion?

Mr. J: With a smile on my face!
[ close-up of Mr. J's fresh-faced smile ]

Jingle:
"He's Mr. J!
The Coolest Teacher at Benton Township High School!"
[ fade ]
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04fteacher.phtml

Posted by beowulf | July 5, 2008 7:25 PM

He'd be good enough for a private prep school that valued social networking over objective knowledge or achievement. But he'd never cut it in a public school whose board members want to get reelected.

Posted by Aatos | July 5, 2008 7:30 PM

Hey, if it inspires K-Lo to finally get that diploma, great.

Well played, sir.

Posted by Phil | July 5, 2008 7:34 PM

There are about seventy-two things wrong and/or funny about that little blurb of hers. One is her stupid, naive belief that George W. Failure is going to retire to Crawford.

Posted by Woody Bombay | July 5, 2008 7:48 PM

calipygian says: "I think its pretty well accepted that if Bush and K-Lo were high school classmates, or college classmates for that matter, K-Lo would have a major league unrequited crush on Dumbya and Dumbya would make snide, cruel remarks about her looks and weight, all the while holding her in contempt for her crush on him."

And I hate to say this, but Bush would be justified in such contempt. K-Lo is without a doubt the most pathetic specimen of pundit humanity (though I'm not sure she's really a pundit so much as a part of the NRO staff) I've ever seen. And that's not because of her political views, it's because she actually believes stuff like what Matt quoted above. A sophisticated conservative, or even a mildly cynical Young Republican type, would never write stuff like that.

Posted by Mark in Houston | July 5, 2008 8:00 PM

When we grew up and went to school
There were certain teachers
Who would hurt the children in any way they could
By pouring their derision
Upon anything we did
Exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids

Our President couldn't deliver pizzas for a week without spitting on one in order to teach some regular customer a lesson over a misperceived slight. I vote 'No' to schoolteacher.

Posted by joejoejoe | July 5, 2008 8:27 PM

So what is the deal with K-lo? Do the other NRO people make fun of her behind her back?

Posted by Eric | July 5, 2008 8:27 PM

I want someone to develop a "K-Lo Filter," so that I can read the Corner withouth having my eyes/brain tainted with anything she's written.

Why does anyone, anywhere read K-Lo? I actually think the likes of Matt Yglesias and Andrew Sullivan should not pick on her, on the grounds that it's way too easy.

She has got to be the stupidest person on the Corner (at least); I won't extend the universe to "the internet" because I haven't yet read it all.

Posted by Christo7 | July 5, 2008 8:58 PM

She has got to be the stupidest person on the Corner (at least); I won't extend the universe to "the internet" because I haven't yet read it all.

Stupidest person on the Corner? She's the managing EDITOR of the motherfucking Corner! That's the fucking punchline!

Posted by calipygian | July 5, 2008 9:02 PM

"A totally crazy Saturday-morning thought"

Yep. That about nails it.

Posted by Joel | July 5, 2008 9:04 PM

The Shrub would make an excellent HS teacher. He'd be that guy who would forget to assign homework, let you cheat on the standardized tests, probably nap during class and would let you sneak out for a smoke and a beer. Awesome!

Posted by CParis | July 5, 2008 9:05 PM

Right. The same Bush who joked that it would all be a lot easier if we had a benevolent dictatorship. The same Bush who said the job of the Executive Branch is the interpret the law. The same Bush whose Administration has openly flouted the oversight authority of Congress and shown absolute contempt for the entire corpus of jurisprudence and moral philosophy underpinning the 4th Amendment, all the way back to Magna Carta. A great choice for a civics teacher, National Review. Well done.

Posted by DNS | July 5, 2008 9:07 PM

"Reach out and touch the young before they are jaded, or break them of the cynicism..."

Yes, that has been the Bush trademark MO all along. That's why they hired folks like Rove and Atwater and specialize in divide and conquer tactics. Even to the point of using the US Justice Department to intimidate people who won't play along with their voter fraud schemes; launching vicious attacks on an opponent's spouse or family; or even launching divisive wars to intimidate the opposition. Yes, Bush. Inspiring idealism from day one.

Posted by steve | July 5, 2008 9:26 PM

"Reach out and touch the young before they are jaded, or break them of the cynicism..."

Yes, that has been the Bush trademark MO all along. That's why they hired folks like Rove and Atwater and specialize in divide and conquer tactics. Even to the point of using the US Justice Department to intimidate people who won't play along with their voter fraud schemes; launching vicious attacks on an opponent's spouse or family; or even launching divisive wars to intimidate the opposition. Yes, Bush. Inspiring idealism from day one.

Posted by steve | July 5, 2008 9:31 PM

"Reach out and touch the young before they are jaded, or break them of the cynicism..."

Yes, that has been the Bush trademark MO all along. That's why they hired folks like Rove and Atwater and specialize in divide and conquer tactics. Even to the point of using the US Justice Department to intimidate people who won't play along with their voter fraud schemes; launching vicious attacks on an opponent's spouse or family; or even launching divisive wars to intimidate the opposition. Yes, Bush. Inspiring idealism from day one.

Posted by steve | July 5, 2008 9:35 PM

She is such a fucking insipid cheerleader--seriously, I don't how people like Ramesh can tolerate being published alongside her. What a twit.

Posted by TW Andrews | July 5, 2008 9:36 PM

K-Lo seems oddly disconnected from Bushiana. He already told Robert Draper what he was going to do after he retires from the presidency (that is, after the phone call to the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on November 9th, urging a military coup with Bush retained as the commander in chief as the only way to win WWIV, is politely turned down):

"A NEW book out last week reported that President Bush wants to hop on the lecture circuit when he leaves office in 2009 — “replenish the ol’ coffers,” as he put it in Robert Draper’s account of his presidency, “Dead Certain.”

“I don’t know what my dad gets,” the president told Mr. Draper. “But it’s more than 50, 75” thousand dollars a speech. He added, “Clinton’s making a lot of money.” - New York Times, 2007/09/09/.

Actually, maybe K-Lo is thinking about all those speeches, all those embarrassing speeches, all those reminders that the GOP stands for Bush and Bush for the GOP as the population struggles with inflation, unemployment and stagnant and declining wages over the next two or three years.

Posted by roger | July 5, 2008 9:36 PM

Stupidest person on the Corner? She's the managing EDITOR of the motherfucking Corner! That's the fucking punchline!

Right, but the point is that she's the managing editor of a frigging blog which isn't edited (her big accomplishment is to keep Jonah from mentioning Star Trek too much), and this in an industry that gives away "assistant editor"ships like they're going out of style. She's an embarrassment to The Corner. I can't recall ever having read anything that I thought was either a) well-written, if poorly argued or b) well-argued, if not cogently stated. The only thing one gets from her is insipid cheerleadering for her crush of the month. I don't how people like Ramesh can tolerate being published alongside her. What a twit.

Posted by TW Andrews | July 5, 2008 9:43 PM

Bush making speeches after leaving office - well, I guess we can count on an unending source of jokes for the late night guys on TV.

Posted by Richard Steven Hack | July 5, 2008 11:00 PM

Whatever you think of President Bush, he's a likable guy in love with his country with some history and experience to share.

"Likeable"? "In love with his country"?

Yeah, he's about as "likeable" and "in love with his country" as a guy who doesn't care about the life of a single American citizen. Throw on top of that the facts that he was a drunk-driving, coke-sniffing boozer well into his 30s, and that he's a rich-kid, pretend-soldier.

Anybody who has had a relative get hurt or killed in the Iraq war has a very personal reason to not want Bush around their kids. If the world was just, people who do things like Bush would spend life in a prison cell.

Posted by Swan | July 5, 2008 11:05 PM

Bush probably wants to be a high school teacher about as much as he wants to make a hobby out of watching video-lectures on the empires and governments of ancient Greece, Mesopotamia and Macedonia for three hours every Saturday morning. It's too learnarific for him.

Posted by Swan | July 5, 2008 11:09 PM

Funny she should mention that. My kid took middle school civics this year. It took all the restraint I could muster not to confuse him with the actual situation when they were studying things like Constitutional rights. I know his teacher was an old DFH from back in the day, it must be killing her to have to mouth the platitudes required to get the students through the standardized tests.

Posted by stuck in 200 | July 6, 2008 12:23 AM

"“I don’t know what my dad gets,” the president told Mr. Draper. “But it’s more than 50, 75” thousand dollars a speech. He added, “Clinton’s making a lot of money.” - New York Times, 2007/09/09/."

Oh Jesus, get ready for every right-wing crybaby in the history of ever to complain about political correctness when the college lecture circuit just isn't as interested in Bush the Lesser than anyone else.

Posted by Aps | July 6, 2008 12:26 AM

Initially, I agreed with the posters above, that Bush's clear preference for bike rides and vacationing over actual Presidenting suggested he'd make an insanely lousy teacher, because clearly he's a lazy jackass.

But then I thought back to 9/11 and how, as the nation was attacked its commander-in-chief stayed in an elementary school classroom, fully committed to completing the lesson plan--not only finishing "My Pet Goat." but leading an extensive discussion of it.

It seems Bush is unusually dedicated to teaching.

My only concern is what if there was a fire or natural catastrophe in the classroom? I fear he'd pull another 9/11 and "stay the course." Instead of reacting to the crisis at hand, he'd keep the kids in their seats, finishing the lesson plan as burning support beams fell on their little heads...

Posted by anonymous | July 6, 2008 12:31 AM

George W. Bush would make a perfect high school civics teacher... who's hired for his skills as a baseball coach.

Posted by Grumpy | July 6, 2008 12:49 AM

Mr Anonymous from 12:31 stole my joke. As long as the curiculum didn't go much further than 'My Pet Goat' he's got it covered. For everything else, bluster through on your last name and your rolodex. What else is an Ivy for anyway?

Posted by JohnMcC | July 6, 2008 1:34 AM

I'll bet anyone right now that within 2 years of leaving the White House Bush will have sold the ranch at Crawford and is living in some gated community somewhere (outside Dallas? maybe in Florida somewhere) on a golf course.

Posted by dave | July 6, 2008 2:09 AM

I read an article that said insiders were starting to wonder about Bush's mental health (just starting?), and one of the "symptoms" is that he likes to fart at new staffers. I think he'd be a riot in a classroom. Oh. Right. She wants him to be the teacher, not the boy in the back row who farts and tries to blame it on a girl he secretly crushes on.

I can totally see Wayne and Garth team-teaching as Bush.

But yeah, when has a prominent Republican ever retired and done anything but lobby, serve on corporate boards, and play golf? Jerry Ford showed that you can serve on one lousy corporate board, show up for a few meetings, and get paid more than a teacher does for a whole year.

Bush is an idiot, but he's not stupid. Plus other corporate directors are likely to give him more respect than high school students, who kinda expect you to earn it.

KLo is really, really weird. All these people who crush on Bush are weird. What do they see? His own wife clearly can't stand him. His own daughters despise him.

Posted by arless | July 6, 2008 8:08 AM

This is a topic that is really dear to my heart. For years I have been wondering how could National Review, which purports to be one of the leading (if not the leading) conservative magazine hire K-Lo for anything other than a coffee gofer. TW Andrews has it right, when was the last time you ever read anything of hers that was interesting? provocative? or intelligent? You have to keep in mind while her editorship might be meaningless, she does have a syndicated column in newspapers (my hometown newspaper carries her). Basically, all she does is wait for the conservative talking points or the conservative analysis of an issue to form, and then writes a column that is nothing more than cut-paste. You never really see her think about the issues of the day, that is because I think that she cares more about being a part of conservatism, than being a conservative. The difference is she that the conservative movements is her world, its where he friends are, and where she gets acceptance, and the only way for her to keep that is by becoming this strange, weird little unthinking robot that goes around telling everybody how great they are so they will like her. Yet still, Ramesh, Jonah, Mark Levin always harp on the idiocy of liberals, while they let K-Lo post stupid stuff like this without comment. I have never seen anybody at the Corner ever challenge her, or at least push back on her sycophantic cheerleading. Whenever, Jonah Goldberg starts whining that conservatives are not in lock step with Republicans, I always wonder what he thinks of K-Lo? Its not the cheerleading that really astounds, its the sheer immaturity, the utter obliviousness, and the desperation to be liked by ever conservative that is so, well embarrassing to look at. And we haven't even got to the weird sexual fetish for soldiers that she has. Seriously, can't a leading conservative magazine do better than this?

Posted by Eliot | July 6, 2008 8:48 AM

Seriously, can't a leading conservative magazine do better than this?

No.

This has been simple answers to simple questions.

And anyway, K-Lo's oblivious immaturity is preferable to Little Billy Kristol's idiotic wrongheadedness, because while everyone just pats K-Lo on the head and murmurs, "Thats a good girl", terrifyingly enough, people in corridors of power take what Little Billy Kristol has to say seriously, despite the fact that there isn't one thing that he has been right about.

Posted by calipygian | July 6, 2008 9:30 AM

Why doesn't the topic of K-Lo's idiocy enter the discourse more? Can't people mount a campaign to dislodge her from her NRO perch? She is terrible.

Posted by Billy | July 6, 2008 9:42 PM

Billy writes: "Can't people mount a campaign to dislodge her from her NRO perch?"

I hope she stays. Do you have something against comedy?

Posted by MoeLarryAndJesus | July 6, 2008 10:02 PM

The new US president should appoint Bush an ambassador to Iraq. The man has to finish what he started. Imagine the love of the Iraqi people.

Posted by Dimitar Monev | July 7, 2008 4:26 AM